The biblical word “repent” actually doesn’t mean to say you are sorry. It literally means “change the way you think”. It’s a transformation that goes deeper than mere words.
Traumatized people often learned that they don’t have a choice. They felt helpless and they continue to feel helpless. But today offers choices. You are free to choose things in any given moment.
To exercise our will we need to become aware of all our chances for choices, small or huge. Start small. Choose which cup you want to drink from. Black or white? Which one do you prefer?
Find small choices in your every-day life and choose on purpose, because that is what you want, no further explanation needed. Build up strength in your will-muscle again.
Things you might choose:
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when exactly to set your alarm?
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what to eat for breakfast?
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shower in the morning or evening?
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what clothes to wear?
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purse or backpack?
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car or bike or walking or other?
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take a phone call or let it go to voice mail just because you can?
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topic of your conversation?
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place to eat out?
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store you buy from?
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where to start cleaning?
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laundry: hang or dryer?
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Tea or coffee?
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TV channel you watch?
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TV or book?
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whom to spend time with?
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keep an item or throw it away?
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dumpster or recycle?
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…
If you struggle, make it “this or that” choices between only two options.
Learn what you like and what you don’t like. Learn to say yes and no and actually mean it.
Listen to yourself speaking. Whenever you catch yourself saying “I have to….” make it a point to find a choice in the situation.
Even options that seem to make no sense can help. Eat your soup with a spoon or fork? Of course you choose the spoon! But if you allow yourself to make this choice, your brain will become more aware that there really is freedom to choose.
Try to make at least 3 intentional choices a day.
Slowly your free choices will start to change the way you think. You won’t feel so helpless all the time. Because you are learning a very important lesson:
You are powerful and you are free.
It might sound unbelievable right now, but if you follow the path of small choices you will start to feel it eventually.
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