If you struggle with self-harm and dissociation and you have had DBT you will have worked with a behavior chain analysis. (If you struggle with self-harm and dissociation and you did not have DBT we highly recommend doing it.)
We love the behavior chain analysis, but there are limits. Sometimes other parts commit the self-harm, there is amnesia, and a behavior chain analysis can be utterly frustrating, with questions like “What exactly happened? Describe it so that an actor could role play it” How should I know!? I felt fine, someone else should do this analysis! It always seemed to us that this exercise would only drive us insane with an attempt to control what cannot be controlled. It needs a Team to discuss this.
So we added a few questions to the chain analysis, adapted it for DID and SystemWork.
First you need to understand one fundamental truth:
You cannot be controlled by anyone else. The only person who can control you is you. You cannot control parts of yourself. They can only learn self-control. And the driving force to make things better for the system is never control, it is connection. Connection is the goal, the tool and the practice of therapy. There is a way to help the whole system through a behavior chain analysis that focusses on connection instead of control. It helps to look beyond behavior. The main problem is never behavior, it is always disconnection.
So this should be called a “connection chain analysis”.
The following questions should be discussed in an Inner Team meeting.
1) Describe problem behavior
Who did it? What did they do? Where? Who was co-conscious with them? Which part of you had influence on that part or behavior? (Pay special attention to abuser-imitating and needy child parts) Who witnessed what happened?
2) prompting event
What was the trigger? What did the acting part do, think and feel before the behavior? What have the others done, thought or felt? What were the individual needs of everyone in the situation? What was going on at the outside/ within the system when the behavior started? What did every one of you want to do at that time? Was there a certain body sensation? Was there some kind of conflict on the inside or outside? Was a part involved who is stuck in trauma time?
3) Vulnerability
Did you eat, drink, sleep, exercise enough? Did you take your meds? Did you feel stressed or emotional? Did you drink alcohol or take drugs? Did you check in with yourself from time to time? Was there time for communication and connection? Did you leave room for parts of you to get scared? Was there unresolved conflict in the system? Did parts get enough time to express themselves/ time in the body? Were there special influences that stressed parts of you? Was there something troubling about the constellation of co-con parts? Was an adult caretaker present? Was there someone obviously not oriented in time/ space, stuck in trauma time?
4) Links of the chain
Describe all the inside reactions and communications that happened between trigger and problem behavior. Include action, emotions, thoughts, conversations, reactions etc for everyone in the system. Imagine it as a complex interpersonal chain of parts influencing each other or failing to influence each other, everyone adding their own links to the chain. It could help to create a map where everyone has been and how they were linked. Look at all the links in the chain and discuss them. Would others in the system have acted differently and why? Does everyone share these thoughts? Can you find empathy?
5. Consequences
What were your thoughts, feelings, body sensations after the problem behavior? What did everyone else in the system think, feel and experience? What are the short-term consequences of the behavior (thoughts, emotions, actions, well-being, relationships, self-esteem)? What are the long-term consequences (thoughts, emotions, actions, well-being, relationships, self-esteem)? How did the behavior effect the relationships within the system? How do you think/ feel about the acting part? How do you think/ feel towards the host? And any other part? What does the acting part feel/think about themselves? Which inner relationships got damaged? Who can feel the physical consequences? Why could this be problematic? Did you switch? What are the consequences of the problem behavior for the personal goals of individual parts?
6. Solutions
Go back and look at the links of your chain. Where could each one of you have acted differently? Has anyone been careless? When could inner dialogue have prevented the behavior? When was the right time for using skills? How could you have reduced your vulnerability? What has kept you from doing these things? Do you allow for empathy with each other? Who could have asked whom for help in that situation, outside people as well as other parts? How could you have improved communication? Was there anything that hindered you from trusting the others? Ask everyone how you could have solved the situation as a team. Who could have taken care of things on the outside, who could have managed things on the inside? Make a plan how you will handle a similar situation in the future, write down new “links” to create a different chain of events with a different outcome. What would others have done and thought in that situation? Is there anything the acting part can learn from that? Is the behavior based on a cognitive error, a thought others wouldn’t agree with? Make a deal with each other whom you will ask for help in the future and who might support you with coping. Write down what you have planned for future situations. Plan how you will act when the same trigger happens again and how to prevent yourselves from getting into a similar situation, outside as well as inside.
7. Repair/Reconcile
Look at the harm done to the body, personal belongings and the relationships within the system. Allow the acting part to explain to those who got hurt what has been going on with them, how they felt, what they thought and what the problem was. (Attention: behavior is never the problem. The problem is usually found in some kind of disconnection eg from others or the present). Make sure the acting part understand the full extend of the harm that was done. Let the part share what they have learned. Give room for other parts to forgive them. Everyone needs to make an effort to re-connect with each other and build trust again. The acting part can get time to think about ways to repair the damage to individual parts who got hurt. Be open for reconciliation and repentance. An adult part could be a moderator in this conversation. Don’t leave room for fear about possible future behavior! Communicate with a vulnerable heart and willingness for inner connection with each other. Have grace. The most important goal is to reconcile and re-connect, not to control behavior. If everyone acts in love for each other it will automatically reduce harmful behavior.
You can find detailed steps for reconciliation here: Dealing with Guilt
Take some time and communicate about what you have just discussed. How did you feel, is there something you all noticed? Don’t leave the conversation before everyone is satisfied with the outcome.
Leave a Reply