SkillKit to go

We have talked about the window of tolerance,

how you can use Skills to stop dissociation and self-harm using both body and mind,

how to use Skills to stay within your window of tolerance through relational regulation, distraction, containment, imagery and mindfulness.

We also explained how to chain Skills to make them the most effective.

You need all this knowledge when you put together a SkillKit that you can carry with you.

If you struggle with dissociation, get used to carrying a bag or purse at all times. This will be like a first aid kit. You carry it like someone with diabetes carries glucose or someone with allergies an epipen. You have dissociation, you carry a SkillKit.

If you have created a Skill Chain already, go look at it. Check if there are items that you need for it to work. And ask yourself if you can and want to carry these items around with you at all times. If you find something that won’t work in a SkillKit (like weight lifting) exchange it for something else from the same color-coded category.

You want to carry Skills from all categories, but what exactly depends on where you are at.

If dissociation (or self-harm) is still a huge problem in your life, go for a little extra from the red/blue category.

If you have gotten better at noticing stress before it gets out of control, you can add more calming things from the yellow area.

Don’t forget to put in a single dose of your emergency medication.

This is what our current SkillKit looks like.

We carry:

red/blue: ammonia inhalants, marble (to put into shoe)

yellow: Vetiver oil, art eraser (for kneading)

grounding: mints, cigarettes

mindfulness: something from nature (this is a beech nut, in case you wondered)

medication: one dose mild, one dose strong meds

communication: note book and charcoal, cell phone

When you are dissociating the mind gets foggy and it is hard to remember your „invisible Skills“ like imagery. In these situations it is easier to grab an item to begin the Skill Chain.

As you can see there is a marble in our box of ammonia inhalants. It’s the cue for the second step. After that the mind should function well enough for us to find our way down the Skill Chain.

In addition to the traditional SkillKit we carry a prevention/self-care kit.

Remember that we talked about factors that influence vulnerability?

We consider the self-care kit part of our SkillKit.

It contains:

• a water bottle
• a substantial snack (like an energy bar)
• painkillers

Carrying these has saved us from unnecessary stress many times.

Put your SkillKit where you can easily reach it. Don’t let it get lost in the depth of your purse. It helps to have a container to put things in, like a can or a box or bag. It keeps them together. Some purses have smaller pockets inside. Those would work too.

If you are still looking for things to put into your SkillKit here are a few suggestions.

We did not sort them by category. Please make sure to do that for yourself.

• Chili peppers
• fizzy tablet
• candy: sour, bitter, hot, sweet
• soft/ hard brush (to use on skin)
• marbles
• different textures of stone
• perfume
• flavored capstick
• inspirational quotes
• essential oils
• small stuffy
• rubber band (to snap)
• chewing gum
• small game of skill
• feather
• photo of a positive memory
• phone numbers of important people
• small music box
• spiky massage ball
• soft ball
• play dough/ art eraser
• wet wipes (nice smell)
• comic book
• pine cone
• sea shell
• clothes pin
• tissues
• small figure/toy
• postcard
• mp3 player/cell phone
• an item that belongs to a loved one
• juggling balls
• balloons
• ammonia inhalants
• rubber ball
• Rubik’s cube
• bell
• whistle
• note book
• small book with puzzles/sudoku/…
• necklace with pearls/rosary
• stuff for knitting/ crocheting
• index cards for language you try to learn
• yoyo
• snow globe
• rattle
• frangranced soap/candle/lotion
• jar with spices
• jar with herbs
• soft fabric
• self-heating pad
• red pen (to draw lines)
• booklet with psalms
• jump rope
• pack of pure stevia
• nail file
• quiz
• flash light
• duct tape/ wax stripes (oh yes)
• tooth paste/ wasabi/ chili sauce
• soap bubbles
• Mohdoh
• Instant cooling packs
• …
• …

Feel free to add your own and tell us about them in the comments below so we can all learn more!