Virtues come in opposing pairs that balance each other (see the v-square). Most of us are familiar with Radical Acceptance. The lesser known counter-part to that is Radical Openness. Radical acceptance is used to reduce suffering caused by rejecting things we can’t change. Radical Openness helps us to change, when we have accepted something that […]
DBT Skills
DBT Skills, chronic dissociation and a polyvagal perspective
When we learn how to stop dissociation we often get in contact with DBT skill training. It teaches us how to recognize dissociation early and then use different skills that we chain to help us regulate and return to our window of tolerance. Theoretically that is a good plan that can work really well. It […]
Exercise: influencing emotion
Emotions are involuntary. It means we can’t just choose to feel one emotion instead of another. But we can influence emotions to increase or decrease in intensity and that will make a difference too. The following is an exercise that is incredibly valuable and that you can repeat over time. You will need pen and […]
Regulating Hyperarousal 2 (Flight Response)
PTSD makes regulating emotions extra hard (more). That is why we will look at ways to deal with different emotions. But first there is one thing we need to take care of and that is hyperarousal (flight/fight response) People differ in their tendencies, some going into fight more regularly, others don’t feel that at all […]
Mindfulness for emotional regulation
Many trauma survivors are annoyed by their therapists persistence in trying to teach them mindfulness. The exercises seem weird and we can’t comprehend how that is supposed to help us with our PTSD. We might not understand it right away, but mindfulness is the key to emotional regulation. As we have explained here, trauma changes […]
Reality check
Making sense of the world is not one action, it is a chain of mental actions. We have to perceive something with our senses. Our brain filters what it considers important to reach our awareness. We compare our perception with our memories and experiences and the additional information the situation is giving us, put together […]
Grounding activities for mild dissociation
Sometimes when life is stressful and there is a lot going on inside, we are not fully connected to the body. It rather feels like a fuzzy cloud without clear boundaries. When we are already stressed and overwhelmed, it is not always smart to go for the hard DBT Skills for the body because they […]
Learning to guide your thoughts (mindfulness meditation)
Our thoughts are often like monkeys, jumping from one tree to the other. With depression or PTSD they might also be circling and sometimes become tornadoes that suck us into a dark place. It takes practice, but we can learn how to gain more control over our thoughts through meditation. Nobody is “good” at meditating. […]
Being triggered and what to do about it
Living with trauma means that we will be triggered. It is part of the definition of PTSD. If the question is not “if” but “when”, we need to find a way to deal with it. Step 1: Notice that something inside you was triggered and understand your current experience as a reaction to the […]
The Wheel of Coping
When we are struggling, we try to cope. But there are healthy and there are toxic coping strategies. You will recognize toxic coping because it works short-term, but it has negative long-term effects. Things like alcohol, drugs, self-harm, binge/purge cycles, abuse of prescription medication, shopping binges, high-risk behavior, irresponsible sexual activity, dissociation acts of violence […]
Preparation for emotional regulation: hyperarousal
PTSD makes managing feelings extra hard. That is why we will look at ways to deal with different emotions. But before we start with these steps there is one thing we need to take care of: And that is hyperarousal (flight/fight response) Hyperarousal (fight) is not anger, but the impulse for action might be similar, […]
Identifying your feelings (emotional numbing)
Before we can look into ways to regulate difficult emotions, we need to know what it is we are trying to regulate. Numbing is a common way of coping for trauma patients. When I first entered the mental health system I was unable to sense my emotions. My face was a mask that never moved. […]