english

Being a safe person in a relationship (for helpers and friends)

by Theresa on September 25, 2019 in english, for helpers

(If you came here and you missed the first part about being a safe person for beginners, please follow the link and read that first. It is the foundation for everything we do in a deeper relationship as well.) When you are not just someone who sometimes gets in contact with traumatized people but […]

Creating safe situations (polyvagal concepts for helpers)

by Theresa on September 23, 2019 in english, for helpers

Friends and helpers often ask how to create a safe situation for the survivors they care about. I have already started to give answers on how to be a safe person. We will continue from here. Some of this is science-based, some is information collected from other survivors, some is my own experience. We describe […]

Being a safe person for beginners (polyvagal concepts for helpers)

by Theresa on September 23, 2019 in english, for helpers

Friends and helpers often wonder how they can be a safe person for the people they care about. As survivors we often feel overwhelmed when we get asked how to support us because it is too much to say and to keep in mind for a simple answer. I will at least start to give […]

Balancing in Therapy

by Theresa on August 13, 2019 in english, mindset & thoughts, theory, therapy

In nature, balance is never static. It is achieved by constantly re-adjusting and adapting to changing influences. It never stops, there is no time when a perfect balance exists for long. Balance is really a verb, not a noun. It is natural that all our therapy work is happening with ups and down, constantly shifting, […]

The Two Hands (for soothing inner parts)

by Theresa on July 29, 2019 in DID, english, Self-regulation

The two hands is a small exercise meant to help with self-soothing and offer a felt sense of safety, protection or support. It is ideal when working with more or less dissociated parts in cPTSD or DID, but it could also work for people who don’t experience structural dissociation at all. Sometimes parts inside might […]

Synchronizing (advanced DID SystemWork)

by Theresa on July 25, 2019 in concerning integration, DID, english

Synchronizing is an advanced exercise for DID SystemWork. We need a certain level of communication and cooperation within the system, that we might not have at the very beginning. We will also struggle if we are still stuck in chronic dissociation because we need a form of mindfulness for this. If you want to avoid […]

Administering mental energy

by Theresa on July 13, 2019 in DID, english, self-care & life-skills

Like time and money, energy is a limited resource. It means that we have to be careful how we spend it, otherwise there won’t be enough to manage our life. PTSD and dissociation use up a good amount of our energy, so that our stores are slimmer than those of other people. It means that […]

Polyvagal Therapy

by Theresa on July 8, 2019 in english, Self-regulation, therapy

Science about the vagus is an exciting new trend, it gets marketed as having almost magical powers to help people feel better. So I get quite a lot of emails asking for ways to ‘strengthen’ the vagus or how to ‘stimulate’ it. I think that this is based on a misunderstanding. Let me clarify. […]

Epiphany #6: The Good

by Theresa on July 5, 2019 in english, other

The perception of a reward leads to sympathetic arousal in our nervous system. Similarly to flight/fight (run away/ approach to overcome) energy is released to approach and get the reward. When a reward is overwhelmingly big we start to shut down. Think of people winning the lottery and fainting or hearing they won a prize […]

DBT Skills, chronic dissociation and a polyvagal perspective

by Theresa on June 30, 2019 in DBT Skills, english, Self-regulation, theory

When we learn how to stop dissociation we often get in contact with DBT skill training. It teaches us how to recognize dissociation early and then use different skills that we chain to help us regulate and return to our window of tolerance. Theoretically that is a good plan that can work really well. It […]

Integrating ‘new’ parts (DID SystemWork)

by Theresa on June 23, 2019 in basics, DID, english

When parts have been stuck in TraumaTime for so long, arriving in the present, learning that there are others and all of life has changed, that we have aged, the body is big – all that can come as a shock. That is why we have developed a protocol for ourselves for welcoming ‘new’ parts. […]

Titration in Trauma Therapy

by Theresa on June 14, 2019 in basics, DID, english, Self-regulation, theory, therapy

Titration is a chemical term that was taken out of context to explain a technique to approach psychological problems. Say we want to neutralize HCl with NaOH. Mixing the acid with the base should, with an easy calculation, give us H2O and NaCl, harmless water and salt. The problem is that an acid and a […]