Emotions are involuntary. It means we can’t just choose to feel one emotion instead of another. But we can influence emotions to increase or decrease in intensity and that will make a difference too. The following is an exercise that is incredibly valuable and that you can repeat over time. You will need pen and […]
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Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation can be challenging when we get overwhelmed with a feeling and we don’t have a plan how to manage it. I will share with you the systematic approach we are using, in the hope that it will give you some guidance as well. . Before we do anything else We need to regulate […]
Raising dissociative barriers (DID SystemWork)
A lot of the work we do in Phase 1 of our DID therapy has to do with making inner connections, lowering dissociative barriers and creating co-consciousness. It is good to be closer together and more aware of the world outside. Yet there are moments when it creates difficulties. Being constantly co-conscious increases our risk […]
Regulating Hyperarousal 2 (Flight Response)
PTSD makes regulating emotions extra hard (more). That is why we will look at ways to deal with different emotions. But first there is one thing we need to take care of and that is hyperarousal (flight/fight response) People differ in their tendencies, some going into fight more regularly, others don’t feel that at all […]
Mindfulness for emotional regulation
Many trauma survivors are annoyed by their therapists persistence in trying to teach them mindfulness. The exercises seem weird and we can’t comprehend how that is supposed to help us with our PTSD. We might not understand it right away, but mindfulness is the key to emotional regulation. As we have explained here, trauma changes […]
Emotions
Humans feel emotions for a reason and it is not to torment us. Our brain is created with different levels. Roughly speaking there is a part that we share with reptilians that holds reflexes and instincts, a part we share with mammals that is responsible for emotions and a part that is limited to humans […]
The problem with emotional regulation
There are a couple of reasons why emotional regulation is so difficult for trauma survivors, especially those with developmental trauma and cPTSD. They are intertwined and sometimes create a fatal cycle of reinforcement. Parenting Some of our struggles are created by inadequate parenting. Children are supposed to learn emotional regulation from their parents and […]
The Rhythm of Regulation
My first encounter with the word resilience was not in psychology but in physics. In a psychological context the term is usually used to describe an inner strength that can prevail under a lot of pressure. So the goal of interventions is to make people more resistant to stress by adding positive resources. You can […]
Keep breathing
We have already looked at some basic breathing exercises. Now let’s take it a little further. “Cologne“ breathing (4711*) You might be heading into a difficult meeting or maybe there are only 2 minutes to relax. Breathe in counting to 4, then slowly breathe out counting to 7. Repeat 11 times. You should feel […]
Growing love
We have looked into the characteristics of a powerful person as a key to healing from the effects of relational trauma and a victim mentality. Learning self-control by using our free choice, boundaries and assertiveness leads to healthy relationships. We are managing our own freedom while allowing others to be free as well. It creates […]
Boundaries within the dissociative System (DID)
DID doesn’t mean having several people stuck in one body. We are all parts of one person, yet we are different from each other. Without acknowledging that there is a difference, a separation, a split, we cannot heal. We need boundaries between parts to reach our goal of connection. Avoiding this reality by trying to […]
Classic boundary problems and how to solve them
The kind of parenting we experienced shapes our pattern of how we relate to other people. Trauma destroyed our sense of safety and introduced helplessness to our life. The way we set our boundaries today is often a result of these experiences. Healthy boundaries help us to keep the good things inside and the bad […]
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