english

Containment (in body work)

by Theresa on June 1, 2019 in english, Self-regulation, theory, therapy

There is a crucial part of emotional regulation that has to happen somewhere between identifying a feeling and expressing it. Because it is physical in its nature, not a mental concept, it makes it difficult for me to explain it with words. So I will use pictures in the hope that you can translate them […]

Understanding thoughts ‘bottom up’

by Theresa on May 27, 2019 in english, mindset & thoughts, Self-regulation, theory

There is a feedback-loop between our thoughts, emotions and body. A picture you will often see to describe it is this It is the foundation of CBT interventions. We change the thought, that will change our emotion and physical state. It is called top-down approach and it works well with many psychological problems but its […]

Emotions: Explore, Express, Expand

by Theresa on May 11, 2019 in Emotions, english, Self-regulation

If we are within our window of tolerance and there is an emotion we are experiencing and there is no need to regulate it down but a curiosity about what is happening to us, that is when we might want to explore. To do that, creative approaches are indispensable. We won’t try to suppress an […]

Provocation: advanced negotiation skills

by Theresa on April 28, 2019 in communication & relationships, english, therapy

Deliberate provocation is a specific form of confrontation. It is one of our sharpest tools for negotiations. It can cut through the knot that keeps us stuck and open the path for breakthrough. It can also cut deeply and painfully when it is done wrong, creating shame and disconnection and despair. The effectiveness of […]

Negotiating Emotion

by Theresa on April 23, 2019 in DID, Emotions, english, for helpers, Self-regulation

It is normal for traumatized people to avoid the sensation of emotion. TraumaTime taught us that it is too much to handle. Since we are not living in TraumaTime anymore and emotion is a big part of feeling alive and happy, it is time to get in touch with our feelings again. The level of […]

Epiphany #5: The State of Shame

by Theresa on April 20, 2019 in english, other

Our stress responses come with emotions attached. In flight we feel fear, in fight anger. The emotion that belongs to freeze is shame. In freeze we submit to the one stronger than us, an ancient way of creating a social hierarchy. Shame supports that by telling us our place. “The story follows the state“. We […]

The Polyvagal Ladder

by Theresa on April 17, 2019 in basics, english, Self-regulation, theory

When I first wrote about the polyvagal theory I didn’t expect you to be interested. But there has been an ever increasing demand for more information, so here it is. We are still leaving out most of the neuroscience behind the polyvagal theory to make it easier to work with. People used to think […]

Exercise: influencing emotion

by Theresa on April 5, 2019 in DBT Skills, Emotions, english, Self-regulation

Emotions are involuntary. It means we can’t just choose to feel one emotion instead of another. But we can influence emotions to increase or decrease in intensity and that will make a difference too. The following is an exercise that is incredibly valuable and that you can repeat over time. You will need pen and […]

Emotional Regulation

by Theresa on March 29, 2019 in Emotions, english, Self-regulation

Emotional regulation can be challenging when we get overwhelmed with a feeling and we don’t have a plan how to manage it. I will share with you the systematic approach we are using, in the hope that it will give you some guidance as well. . Before we do anything else We need to regulate […]

Raising dissociative barriers (DID SystemWork)

by Theresa on March 25, 2019 in DID, english

A lot of the work we do in Phase 1 of our DID therapy has to do with making inner connections, lowering dissociative barriers and creating co-consciousness. It is good to be closer together and more aware of the world outside. Yet there are moments when it creates difficulties. Being constantly co-conscious increases our risk […]

Regulating Hyperarousal 2 (Flight Response)

by Theresa on March 18, 2019 in basics, DBT Skills, english, Self-regulation

PTSD makes regulating emotions extra hard (more). That is why we will look at ways to deal with different emotions. But first there is one thing we need to take care of and that is hyperarousal (flight/fight response) People differ in their tendencies, some going into fight more regularly, others don’t feel that at all […]

Mindfulness for emotional regulation

by Theresa on March 12, 2019 in basics, DBT Skills, Emotions, english, mindfulness, Self-regulation

Many trauma survivors are annoyed by their therapists persistence in trying to teach them mindfulness. The exercises seem weird and we can’t comprehend how that is supposed to help us with our PTSD. We might not understand it right away, but mindfulness is the key to emotional regulation. As we have explained here, trauma changes […]