All relationships are not the same. It is a myth that we could (or should!) treat people in our life equally and not everyone should have free access to us and our resources. We don’t have enough time, energy, attention, money etc to invest into every relationship in the same way. The circles of relationships […]
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Cutting contact
Although cutting contact is a difficult decision, it is often vital for our own healing and growth. If a flower is not growing well, you change the environment. If we can’t flourish in our close relationships, we need to re-define them. “No contact“ is a new definition for a relationship, not the end of it. […]
Structured Journaling Exercises for Therapy
When people think of journaling they usually think of free writing, which is the most difficult way to work with a journal. Especially when struggling with grounding and self-regulation we need a more structured approach that offers safe boundaries and guidance. Journaling exercises are not typically taught in therapy, which is why I will share […]
The Journal in Trauma Therapy
Trauma therapists often recommend keeping a journal, especially when people struggle with dissociation or DID. But the great majority of patients experience difficult emotions, frustration or boredom when trying to write and quickly give up. The advice wasn’t bad. A journal can help with: grounding reflection system work emotional regulation memory work/ amnesia documentation of […]
Overcoming chronic shame
As long as I can remember I struggled with chronic shame. You can find psychological theories that might help in The Compass of Shame and Understanding Chronic Shame. Today I want to share my personal keys and understanding with you. This might not work for everyone, but it has been a revelation for me. […]
Epiphany #4: The Hive
“What is bad for the hive cannot be good for the bee” (Marcus Aurelius) It is an illusion that parts of a DID system can have their own life and not influence each other. We are not different people, we share the same brain, the same body, the same life. We deceive ourself, if we […]
The Leaves in the River (mindful imagery exercise)
The Leaves in the River is an ACT exercise that combines the concept of mindful observation with imagery work. The main idea is to learn to let go e.g of your thoughts. [ACT could be a valuable addition to your trauma therapy, especially if you struggle with chronic conditions as well. It’s probably not a […]
The Inner Garden (DID-adapted guided imagery)
The guided imagery of the Inner Garden is not one of the „useful“ exercises that are necessary for trauma therapy like the safe place or containment. It is one that is supposed to help you with relaxation and some DID systems like to have their team meetings there. As with all imagery work you should […]
Supportive medication for PTSD and DID
There is no medication to cure PTSD or DID. If someone tells you otherwise they obviously don’t know what they are talking about. Leave the conversation. They are not going to help you. Many patients still take medication because it can help with specific symptoms like insomnia, depression or anxiety. I will share some general […]
Epiphany # 3: The Diagnosis
Is getting a formal diagnosis important? Yes and no and yes. Yes, because it will show you were to research to gain better understanding of what is going on with you and where to find help. It opens the door for you to find healing. No because it is just a label for your symptoms, […]
Improving relationships with T.A.R.A.
Someone I respect often says that “you can’t change the people around you but you can change the people around you”. Concerning other parts of the DID system this is not an option. We are stuck with each other. Parts are different, it’s how DID works. We also often split into opposing extremes, which means […]
The sense and nonsense of mindfulness
A lot of survivors have a love-hate relationship with mindfulness. Some say it’s working, some say it doesn’t. We need to take a closer look to understand why. I define mindfulness as guided attention that is marked by curious observation without evaluation, description without interpretation and the possibility to wait and let things pass instead […]
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