english

Calming your Inner Child: Help for stressed Littles

by Theresa on June 29, 2018 in basics, communication & relationships, english, Self-regulation

You don’t need to have DID to have younger parts inside of you who might sometimes get agitated, scared, confused and stressed. Ignoring them and pushing through will not solve the problem long-term. You use dissociation to even make it possible and it will only increase the inner despair. Calming Littles is not as difficult […]

Grounding activities for mild dissociation

by Theresa on June 28, 2018 in DBT Skills, english, mindfulness

Sometimes when life is stressful and there is a lot going on inside, we are not fully connected to the body. It rather feels like a fuzzy cloud without clear boundaries. When we are already stressed and overwhelmed, it is not always smart to go for the hard DBT Skills for the body because they […]

Transitional objects in trauma therapy

by Theresa on June 27, 2018 in communication & relationships, english, for helpers, therapy

Sometimes Ts offer transitional objects to take home with you til your next appointment, especially when they plan to go on a vacation or when things are a little shaky. What is that all about? And how is it supposed to help? For many survivors their T and the Ts office are like a […]

Learning to guide your thoughts (mindfulness meditation)

by Theresa on June 22, 2018 in DBT Skills, english, mindfulness

Our thoughts are often like monkeys, jumping from one tree to the other. With depression or PTSD they might also be circling and sometimes become tornadoes that suck us into a dark place. It takes practice, but we can learn how to gain more control over our thoughts through meditation. Nobody is “good” at meditating. […]

Gamify your challenges (difficult days)

by Theresa on June 20, 2018 in english, mindset & thoughts

“In every job that must be done There is an element of fun You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game And every task you undertake Becomes a piece of cake A lark! A spree! It’s very clear to see that A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Mary Poppins […]

Being with our Selves: Integration for structural dissociation

by Theresa on June 10, 2018 in basics, concerning integration, DID, english, theory

If we experience repeated and ongoing trauma, especially as a child, our ability to make sense of us and the world will get hurt. We can’t integrate our experience of pain and apparently normal life, a perpetrator being a caregiver and an abuser, us being innocent and feeling guilty, feeling shame and anger and helplessness […]

Staying with ourselves – integrating our trauma history

by Theresa on June 10, 2018 in basics, concerning integration, english, theory

Trauma is full of pain and unbearable feelings. It is a natural response to not want to feel that. So we numb our emotions, disconnect from the awareness of our bodies and avoid the memories. This is a very useful strategy to get through the trauma without having to experience all of it. But it […]

Managing helpless anger

by Theresa on May 27, 2018 in Emotions, english, Self-regulation

One of the strongest and potentially most destructive feelings a trauma survivor can experience (apart from chronic shame) is helpless anger. It triggers the deep sense of powerlessness that we experienced during trauma time and combines it with the uproar of energy found in anger. We often can’t handle the energy and turn it against […]

Being triggered and what to do about it

by Theresa on May 23, 2018 in basics, DBT Skills, english, Self-regulation

Living with trauma means that we will be triggered. It is part of the definition of PTSD. If the question is not “if” but “when”, we need to find a way to deal with it. Step 1: Notice that something inside you was triggered and understand your current experience as a reaction to the […]

The Wheel of Coping

by Theresa on May 19, 2018 in DBT Skills, english, Self-regulation

When we are struggling, we try to cope. But there are healthy and there are toxic coping strategies. You will recognize toxic coping because it works short-term, but it has negative long-term effects. Things like alcohol, drugs, self-harm, binge/purge cycles, abuse of prescription medication, shopping binges, high-risk behavior, irresponsible sexual activity, dissociation acts of violence […]

Organizing critical situations (difficult days)

by Theresa on May 17, 2018 in basics, english

We like to have an organized life. When things start to get difficult we have a phased plan for a structured retreat that makes it possible to keep up self-care and the most important duties, while reducing stress and saving energy. We think of it like a rocket that drops different parts at certain points […]

Keeping up boundaries without a power struggle

by Theresa on May 15, 2018 in communication & relationships, english

There is a difference between a discussion/negotiation and an argument/fight. One is trying to solve a problem, the other is trying to prove someone wrong, oftentimes using blame and starting drama or crossing personal boundaries. Entering a fight means that it will hurt, both sides, while it fully ignores the real problem. We use a […]