If you are friends with someone who dissociates, you might want to learn how to help them, in case it happens while you are around. Here are different interventions you can use to interrupt dissociation and support grounding. Tell them that they are dissociating. People often don’t notice. If they get a hint, they might […]
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Balancing a dissociative System (DIDSystemWork)
For years I have been on a quest for balance for our DID system. Not just ordinary balance, perfect balance. We started out in chaos and I restored daily structure. I restored rhythm and routines and a system for adulting. And everyone was thankful for that. Then I tried to establish a daily schedule, with […]
Taking down Goliath – integrating abuser-imitating parts
Most DID systems have a Goliath inside. A Giant, strong, mean, abuser-imitating, who comes forth to intimidate and declare war on us. Often we stand there like the Israelites, scared and convinced that we are doomed. I will share with you the 5 stones a David could pick up to face a DID Goliath. They […]
Characteristics of a good DID Therapist
DID Systems often have good intuition about who can help them. We are open to share with therapists who show certain characteristics, even if they are not specialists yet. We looked at the last 10 therapists we worked with and compared them. Here is what we found (in no particular order, not claiming that it […]
Therapy: The initial interview (cPTSD)
Before you decide to work with a T, there is usually a first interview, where T and patient can get to know each other. You will get the most out of your interview if you prepare for it. The following questions should help you to get a good measure of the T, how they work […]
Making goals
Putting goals into words helps to achieve them. But if they are vague you are not giving yourself enough information and detail to guide yourself toward that goal. We recommend making SMART goals. Specific/simple/sensible/significant: What do you want to achieve, and what does that look like, in detail, in specific situations, in specific behaviors […]
The value of values
A concept we grew up with is the purpose train. We often get caught up in strategies and tactics in our life, making goals, achieving things. Those work best when we actually have a vision to go before them. But it turns out that a “vision board” is not enough either. The energy that moves […]
The inner Archive (SystemWork)
During Phase 1 of your therapy (stabilization) working through traumatic memories is not the main focus. But that doesn’t stop trauma memory from coming up. So, what do we do with that? The answer is containment. We have already introduced you to the basic and advanced version and one that is littles-friendly. Now let us […]
Unicorn-Moments for weekends
A lot of SystemWork is about finding balance between extremes. Action/work and relaxation/fun is one of the important pairs of virtues (see v-square) that need to be balanced. Both are good and needed, but one without the other will harm us long-term. More about negotiating relaxation During the week our life is very structured and […]
Balance: the v-square
To increase inner balance we are using a theoretical concept described by a german psychologist named Paul Helwig and expanded by F. Schulz von Thun. The concept is called „Wertequadrat“ which literally translates as „square of virtues“ which makes it a wrong translation (it has nothing to do with freemasons and we are aware that […]
Using anger (advanced)
We like to compare anger to a bonfire. If it is burning too high and gets out of control it can be destructive. If we manage to kindle it properly we can have s’mores. Like fire anger is not inherently bad. It just holds a lot of energy. Many traumatized people are scared of the […]
The 3 Phases of Therapy 1: Stabilization
Trauma and DID therapists commonly agree on working with a 3-phase-model. It describes an order in which to do work for the best, fastest and safest results. In an attempt to keep articles short we will share about the different phases in separate articles. The 3 phases are Stabilization Trauma work Integration Here is […]
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