The idea of using a sand tray for therapy is almost 90 years old. There are two main directions this idea took: what is today best known as „world technique“ (Lowenfeld) and on the other hand sand tray therapy (Kalff). The second is a Jung-oriented psycho-analytical approach that isn’t of any interest for us (analysis […]
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Identifying your feelings (emotional numbing)
Before we can look into ways to regulate difficult emotions, we need to know what it is we are trying to regulate. Numbing is a common way of coping for trauma patients. When I first entered the mental health system I was unable to sense my emotions. My face was a mask that never moved. […]
Adulting (Life-Skills)
Our home looks presentable at all times. We know exactly what we own and where it is. We are organized, don’t miss appointments, rarely forget important things and we are getting better and better at adulting. Here is the truth: we are a bunch of confused people. Some are organized, many are not. We need […]
“Same but different” (discrimination)
When we have a flashback or otherwise start to confuse present and past it is important to notice the differences between the present and the past situation. We do this using an exercise that we call „same but different“ and that Ts would probably call discrimination. (That sounds racist. But it’s not.) Discrimination comes […]
Negotiating relaxation (SystemWork)
If you read relaxation and maybe you even tried it you might have noticed that it created unrest inside. Maybe not all of you are ready to relax. But relaxation is am important part of self-care, you all need the balance of tension and relaxation to be healthy. Have an inner team meeting. Get […]
Relaxation
PTSD means chronic stress and tension. But we are aiming to regulate ourselves within the green and yellow area, not just the yellow. And that means learning to relax. Everyone needs this, but for trauma patients it can be harder to learn because it feels strange at first. We are not used to it. We […]
Breathe
Ancient philosophy formed our thinking about the triune nature of the human being, who is a spirit with a soul living in a body. We often talk about these things as if they were separate parts with defined boundaries between them. We know better today. Being physically sick will have an influence on emotional well-being. […]
Endless Drama: Triangulation
One of my greatest breakthroughs in life happened when I was first introduced to the model of triangulation in relationships. It saved me from a terrible marriage. I will describe it the way I learned it from my mentor. He used to call it the „drama triangle“ because there is a lot of drama happening. […]
Bent, not bad
Being made a victim changes people. A victim is someone who is forced into a powerless position while someone else crosses their boundaries and demonstrates power over them. That is like a hammer blow on our soul. It gets a dent. If it repeats the soul starts to change its shape and bend, a pattern […]
Reflections of a former hoarder
This post is more personal than what we usually write. We couldn’t find any „therapy“ tools for hoarding. All we have is our own experience. This is our story: I grew up in a hoarder household. For many years it looked like I would become a hoarder too. When I started to heal things […]
Self-care
Many people confuse self-care with acts of self-love. Self-care is not about being „kind“ to yourself. It is about doing the most basic things to keep your body healthy and going. It is a necessity. If you want to be healthy you need to take care of yourself. If you struggle with self-love you can […]
Why DBT Skills don’t work
DBT is a decent therapy for borderline personality disorder and it can teach us a lot about regulation. It is also not meant to be used for trauma or dissociative disorders. That is why we will run into problems, when we try to use DBT skills here. The concept of dissociation in DBT is one […]
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