Me, Not-Me, and We: A lived experience workbook for phased recovery from complex and relational trauma with dissociative identity response by Emma Sunshaw Written by: A member of the ISSTD who found out about their DID later in life, so this is a mix of up-to-date professional information and lived experience Written for: […]
english
Cornerstones of the therapeutic relationship
Dr. Karen Treisman writes about the therapeutic relationship: The relationships are the glue and the magic that make the strategies meaningful, purposeful, and therapeutic. This is in line with the sayings ‘Relational trauma requires relational repair’ and ‘Relational repair requires safe hands, thinking minds, and regulated bodies’. Without the relationship to anchor to, the […]
The Problem with the Faux Window of Tolerance
We all know the model of the Window of Tolerance. There is an area of relaxed regulation, the polyvagal theory would call it the safe&social system or ventral vagal activation and we traditionally mark it in green. We can handle a bit of activation (yellow) without getting into a difficult situation. When stress gets […]
Group exercise for encouragement
This is a small but very powerful exercise you can do in a ‘group’ setting, like a self-help group and within a DID system. Start with one person or part and ask: What is something you really need to hear right now? It could be any kind of encouragement. Some need to hear […]
Emotion surfing for cPTSD
One of the more trendy tools for emotional regulation right now is called emotion surfing. We can imagine emotions like waves. They start, build up intensity, reach a peak and then they go down again. Maybe we experience only one wave, maybe there will be more. But they will all go down again and the […]
But words will never hurt me
Language is fascinating. It is enough to hear one word to bring up a complex experience within us. When I say ‘beach’ it creates inner pictures of the beach. There might be a yearning or a sense of joy or other emotions. Maybe you remember being at the beach. Your body might relax a tiny […]
The circles of suffering
The circles of suffering are an ACT exercise that can help us to realize the costs of avoidance of difficult topics in our life. We start with the main issue we avoid and then analyze the suffering that happens on top of it. That way we might get convinced that overcoming the avoidance and tackling […]
Integrating sexual parts
This post talks about childhood sexual abuse and sexuality and it’s potentially triggering. Take care of your own well-being and stop reading when you notice signs of dissociation or flashbacks. It is hard to talk about sexual parts without offending anyone. I will share with you an integrative approach and I need you […]
Dealing with mistakes and failure (perfectionism)
Growing up in a trauma family often means learning that mistakes are not tolerated. Caregivers might have expected us to do things right every time, even if it is the first time we try. We found our own strategies to cope with this toxic atmosphere by hiding ourselves and our mistakes or by trying […]
Exercises with a singing bowl
Not that long ago someone handed us a singing bowl to experiment with for a weekend. We have a deep dislike for mixing therapy and new age concepts and will gladly spare you from chakra massages and the esoteric meaning of different frequencies. Instead we want to look at small exercises that can support mindfulness, […]
Hierarchies and Cooperation
Most people with DID experience some kind of hierarchy among the different parts. There are those who tell everyone what to do, call them controlling EPs, managers, gatekeepers, abuser-imitating parts, protectors or diplomatically, ‘advisors’. Their job is to keep everyone functioning and in line to avoid failure, punishment or pain. Then there are those […]
The Dance at the Ball (guided imagery)
This guided imagery is a bit different from what we are used to. It is not meant to create a calming atmosphere where we can relax. It uses relational regulation to help us remember the important people in our life and feel connected to them. That makes it especially useful in times when we […]
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