Language is fascinating. It is enough to hear one word to bring up a complex experience within us. When I say ‘beach’ it creates inner pictures of the beach. There might be a yearning or a sense of joy or other emotions. Maybe you remember being at the beach. Your body might relax a tiny […]
english
The circles of suffering
The circles of suffering are an ACT exercise that can help us to realize the costs of avoidance of difficult topics in our life. We start with the main issue we avoid and then analyze the suffering that happens on top of it. That way we might get convinced that overcoming the avoidance and tackling […]
Integrating sexual parts
This post talks about childhood sexual abuse and sexuality and it’s potentially triggering. Take care of your own well-being and stop reading when you notice signs of dissociation or flashbacks. It is hard to talk about sexual parts without offending anyone. I will share with you an integrative approach and I need you […]
Dealing with mistakes and failure (perfectionism)
Growing up in a trauma family often means learning that mistakes are not tolerated. Caregivers might have expected us to do things right every time, even if it is the first time we try. We found our own strategies to cope with this toxic atmosphere by hiding ourselves and our mistakes or by trying […]
Exercises with a singing bowl
Not that long ago someone handed us a singing bowl to experiment with for a weekend. We have a deep dislike for mixing therapy and new age concepts and will gladly spare you from chakra massages and the esoteric meaning of different frequencies. Instead we want to look at small exercises that can support mindfulness, […]
Hierarchies and Cooperation
Most people with DID experience some kind of hierarchy among the different parts. There are those who tell everyone what to do, call them controlling EPs, managers, gatekeepers, abuser-imitating parts, protectors or diplomatically, ‘advisors’. Their job is to keep everyone functioning and in line to avoid failure, punishment or pain. Then there are those […]
The Dance at the Ball (guided imagery)
This guided imagery is a bit different from what we are used to. It is not meant to create a calming atmosphere where we can relax. It uses relational regulation to help us remember the important people in our life and feel connected to them. That makes it especially useful in times when we […]
The difference between Ego States and dissociative parts
Ego State approaches are becoming more popular. People are reflecting on their own identity and notice that they actually aren’t one whole, they have ‘parts’. After the ‘Inner Child’ trend in the 80s we are experiencing a new trend where people talk about ‘their inner child’ or ‘their inner teenager’ in an Ego State context. […]
Epiphany #9: Not Alone
The voice of shame tells us that we are all alone. Nobody else experiences the same things. . Nobody else is wearing a mask all the time and never lets anyone see the real person behind it. Nobody else keeps up the pretense at work and crumbles once the apartment door closes behind them. Nobody […]
Separating facts, feelings and fiction
This exercise is a specific form of a reality check that can help us when we are not stuck in a full flashback but something got triggered and we get confused about reality. Maybe our emotions are too intense and hijack our mind or we entertain fantasies about how the situation will continue, make up […]
Conversations with Shame
Sometimes shame is very persistent. All our efforts to silence it aren’t working. Getting rid of it is not an option because in the end we have to admit that it is part of us. It means we need to embrace and integrate instead of trying to remove. To be able to do that we […]
Hands technique for advanced DID SystemWork
A versatile yet simple technique for working with parts of a DID system uses our hands to represent different parts or groups of parts. All these exercises start with at least one part choosing a hand and imagining ‘going into’ that hand by moving their awareness there. In most of the advanced exercises 2 parts […]
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