Sometimes Ts offer transitional objects to take home with you til your next appointment, especially when they plan to go on a vacation or when things are a little shaky. What is that all about? And how is it supposed to help? For many survivors their T and the Ts office are like a […]
for helpers
Tools for helping someone out of dissociation
If you are friends with someone who dissociates, you might want to learn how to help them, in case it happens while you are around. Here are different interventions you can use to interrupt dissociation and support grounding. Tell them that they are dissociating. People often don’t notice. If they get a hint, they might […]
Taking down Goliath – integrating abuser-imitating parts
Most DID systems have a Goliath inside. A Giant, strong, mean, abuser-imitating, who comes forth to intimidate and declare war on us. Often we stand there like the Israelites, scared and convinced that we are doomed. I will share with you the 5 stones a David could pick up to face a DID Goliath. They […]
For christian counselors: on deliverance ministry
If you are an atheist or fundamentalist and looking for a fight, please go away. This article is not for you. I will not tolerate disrespectful comments. If you know that you will be offended by anything christian, please stop reading now. I am not attempting to offend and seeking offense is immature love. I […]
Endless Drama: Triangulation
One of my greatest breakthroughs in life happened when I was first introduced to the model of triangulation in relationships. It saved me from a terrible marriage. I will describe it the way I learned it from my mentor. He used to call it the „drama triangle“ because there is a lot of drama happening. […]
Bent, not bad
Being made a victim changes people. A victim is someone who is forced into a powerless position while someone else crosses their boundaries and demonstrates power over them. That is like a hammer blow on our soul. It gets a dent. If it repeats the soul starts to change its shape and bend, a pattern […]
DID Myths and Misconceptions (guest post)
I have spent quite a lot of time in my life in denial about having DID. One of the reasons for that was that I had seen things on the media, I had heard things about DID, and those things were very different from my experience. It took me years to understand that everyone else […]
Unpunishable (core values)
One of the reasons for our great success with system work are the core values and beliefs it is based on. We believe that control over other people is a myth. You can try to force people, try to manipulate them, but in the end they always have a free choice, if they want to […]
The Path of Forgiveness
As a christian I am concerned about the way some christians, but also some therapists, push trauma survivors to forgive. Yet I believe that forgiveness is important. While I believe that forgiveness is a choice, this is too simple . It is tempting just to speak the words and then keep avoiding the inner experience. […]