Denial and self-doubt is such a common problem in dissociative disorders that some argue it should be part of the diagnostic criteria. The definitions of denial include the refusal to admit the truth or reality of something or a refusal to recognize or acknowledge; a disowning or disavowal Psychology has its own definition of denial […]
mindset & thoughts
Radical Openness in Trauma Therapy
Virtues come in opposing pairs that balance each other (see the v-square). Most of us are familiar with Radical Acceptance. The lesser known counter-part to that is Radical Openness. Radical acceptance is used to reduce suffering caused by rejecting things we can’t change. Radical Openness helps us to change, when we have accepted something that […]
Balancing in Therapy
In nature, balance is never static. It is achieved by constantly re-adjusting and adapting to changing influences. It never stops, there is no time when a perfect balance exists for long. Balance is really a verb, not a noun. It is natural that all our therapy work is happening with ups and down, constantly shifting, […]
Understanding thoughts ‘bottom up’
There is a feedback-loop between our thoughts, emotions and body. A picture you will often see to describe it is this It is the foundation of CBT interventions. We change the thought, that will change our emotion and physical state. It is called top-down approach and it works well with many psychological problems but its […]
Growing love
We have looked into the characteristics of a powerful person as a key to healing from the effects of relational trauma and a victim mentality. Learning self-control by using our free choice, boundaries and assertiveness leads to healthy relationships. We are managing our own freedom while allowing others to be free as well. It creates […]
Powerful people – powerful relationships
All people are powerful. But some don’t know it yet. Or they confuse being powerful with being controlling or intimidating. At the core of being a powerful person is self-control: the ability to make choices and follow through with them, to regulate our own emotions and needs and take responsibility for our own life. Self-control […]
Gamify your challenges (difficult days)
“In every job that must be done There is an element of fun You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game And every task you undertake Becomes a piece of cake A lark! A spree! It’s very clear to see that A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Mary Poppins […]
Making goals
Putting goals into words helps to achieve them. But if they are vague you are not giving yourself enough information and detail to guide yourself toward that goal. We recommend making SMART goals. Specific/simple/sensible/significant: What do you want to achieve, and what does that look like, in detail, in specific situations, in specific behaviors […]
The value of values
A concept we grew up with is the purpose train. We often get caught up in strategies and tactics in our life, making goals, achieving things. Those work best when we actually have a vision to go before them. But it turns out that a “vision board” is not enough either. The energy that moves […]
Balance: the v-square
To increase inner balance we are using a theoretical concept described by a german psychologist named Paul Helwig and expanded by F. Schulz von Thun. The concept is called „Wertequadrat“ which literally translates as „square of virtues“ which makes it a wrong translation (it has nothing to do with freemasons and we are aware that […]
Bent, not bad
Being made a victim changes people. A victim is someone who is forced into a powerless position while someone else crosses their boundaries and demonstrates power over them. That is like a hammer blow on our soul. It gets a dent. If it repeats the soul starts to change its shape and bend, a pattern […]
Happen! (core values)
Are you sick and tired of feeling helpless and having things happen to you? Many trauma survivors find themselves in this position over and over again. They feel trapped in a cycle of falling for new abusive people, experiencing personal disasters and being knocked down by life over and over again. It’s enough to make […]