Emotions are involuntary. It means we can’t just choose to feel one emotion instead of another. But we can influence emotions to increase or decrease in intensity and that will make a difference too. The following is an exercise that is incredibly valuable and that you can repeat over time. You will need pen and […]
Self-regulation
Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation can be challenging when we get overwhelmed with a feeling and we don’t have a plan how to manage it. I will share with you the systematic approach we are using, in the hope that it will give you some guidance as well. . Before we do anything else We need to regulate […]
Regulating Hyperarousal 2 (Flight Response)
PTSD makes regulating emotions extra hard (more). That is why we will look at ways to deal with different emotions. But first there is one thing we need to take care of and that is hyperarousal (flight/fight response) People differ in their tendencies, some going into fight more regularly, others don’t feel that at all […]
Mindfulness for emotional regulation
Many trauma survivors are annoyed by their therapists persistence in trying to teach them mindfulness. The exercises seem weird and we can’t comprehend how that is supposed to help us with our PTSD. We might not understand it right away, but mindfulness is the key to emotional regulation. As we have explained here, trauma changes […]
Emotions
Humans feel emotions for a reason and it is not to torment us. Our brain is created with different levels. Roughly speaking there is a part that we share with reptilians that holds reflexes and instincts, a part we share with mammals that is responsible for emotions and a part that is limited to humans […]
The problem with emotional regulation
There are a couple of reasons why emotional regulation is so difficult for trauma survivors, especially those with developmental trauma and cPTSD. They are intertwined and sometimes create a fatal cycle of reinforcement. Parenting Some of our struggles are created by inadequate parenting. Children are supposed to learn emotional regulation from their parents and […]
The Rhythm of Regulation
My first encounter with the word resilience was not in psychology but in physics. In a psychological context the term is usually used to describe an inner strength that can prevail under a lot of pressure. So the goal of interventions is to make people more resistant to stress by adding positive resources. You can […]
Keep breathing
We have already looked at some basic breathing exercises. Now let’s take it a little further. “Cologne“ breathing (4711*) You might be heading into a difficult meeting or maybe there are only 2 minutes to relax. Breathe in counting to 4, then slowly breathe out counting to 7. Repeat 11 times. You should feel […]
Overcoming chronic shame
As long as I can remember I struggled with chronic shame. You can find psychological theories that might help in The Compass of Shame and Understanding Chronic Shame. Today I want to share my personal keys and understanding with you. This might not work for everyone, but it has been a revelation for me. […]
Calming your Inner Child: Help for stressed Littles
You don’t need to have DID to have younger parts inside of you who might sometimes get agitated, scared, confused and stressed. Ignoring them and pushing through will not solve the problem long-term. You use dissociation to even make it possible and it will only increase the inner despair. Calming Littles is not as difficult […]
Managing helpless anger
One of the strongest and potentially most destructive feelings a trauma survivor can experience (apart from chronic shame) is helpless anger. It triggers the deep sense of powerlessness that we experienced during trauma time and combines it with the uproar of energy found in anger. We often can’t handle the energy and turn it against […]
Being triggered and what to do about it
Living with trauma means that we will be triggered. It is part of the definition of PTSD. If the question is not “if” but “when”, we need to find a way to deal with it. Step 1: Notice that something inside you was triggered and understand your current experience as a reaction to the […]