This post is based on „The polyvagal theory“ by Stephen Porges. The book describes a mostly scientific theory about the nervous system, specifically different parts of the vagus nerve and how it is related to stress and social interaction. The details on the anatomical side are boring and difficult. So we will butcher it, take […]
theory
The 3 Phases of Therapy 2: Trauma Work
Trauma and DID therapists commonly agree on working with a 3-phase-model. It describes an order in which to do work for the best, fastest and safest results. In an attempt to keep articles short we will share about the different phases in separate articles. The 3 phases are Stabilization Trauma work Integration The separation […]
Balancing a dissociative System (DIDSystemWork)
For years I have been on a quest for balance for our DID system. Not just ordinary balance, perfect balance. We started out in chaos and I restored daily structure. I restored rhythm and routines and a system for adulting. And everyone was thankful for that. Then I tried to establish a daily schedule, with […]
Balance: the v-square
To increase inner balance we are using a theoretical concept described by a german psychologist named Paul Helwig and expanded by F. Schulz von Thun. The concept is called „Wertequadrat“ which literally translates as „square of virtues“ which makes it a wrong translation (it has nothing to do with freemasons and we are aware that […]
The 3 Phases of Therapy 1: Stabilization
Trauma and DID therapists commonly agree on working with a 3-phase-model. It describes an order in which to do work for the best, fastest and safest results. In an attempt to keep articles short we will share about the different phases in separate articles. The 3 phases are Stabilization Trauma work Integration Here is […]
Endless Drama: Triangulation
One of my greatest breakthroughs in life happened when I was first introduced to the model of triangulation in relationships. It saved me from a terrible marriage. I will describe it the way I learned it from my mentor. He used to call it the „drama triangle“ because there is a lot of drama happening. […]
Bent, not bad
Being made a victim changes people. A victim is someone who is forced into a powerless position while someone else crosses their boundaries and demonstrates power over them. That is like a hammer blow on our soul. It gets a dent. If it repeats the soul starts to change its shape and bend, a pattern […]
Compass of shame
Chronic shame accompanies trauma and (together with helplessness) it seems to be the most destructive feeling we experience. We don’t have 5 steps to end shame. We can just share bits and pieces of insight about this. It’s not going to be enough. We haven’t found a way out of shame yet. Some T’s believe […]
The window of tolerance
It might come as a surprise, but people don’t work best when they are absolutely calm. Studies have shown that we work, and learn, the best with medium levels of stress/arousal. When there is not enough or too much stress/arousal, performance will suffer. There is a certain “window of tolerance” where we are able […]