Presentification is an integrative mental action where we connect our experiences with their specific time in our life. There is a realisation, that the past is past, that we are currently in the Now and that there is a future ahead of us. Life events can get sorted into their place on a timeline and the level of felt reality of these experiences changes and adjusts. Things of the distant past or distant future feel less real than things of the near past and future, while the present feels the most real.
A lack a presentification in trauma
Flashbacks
Flashbacks are a sign that traumatic experiences are not integrated. We still experience the past as if it was happening right now, it feels more real than the present and we can’t even imagine a future or change. There has not been the realisation that it is over and the events lay in the past. We only stop re-experiencing when the memory finds its place among our other memories and we are aware of our life history. Then they will feel less real than the present and stop dominating our life.
Anachronistic behavior
Anachronistic behavior is another sign that we lack presentification. We act in ways that made sense during TraumaTime but our behavior is out of place today and we might not even realize it. Imagine someone who has been on their bike this morning to get to work and now they sit at their desk still doing the cycling motions with their legs.
Since we don’t realize that the past is past, we continue trying to reach our goals of the past by finishing actions that were meaningful in the traumatic situation.
We are not cycling, but our attempts to hide, not draw attention, seek nurturing and care, defend ourselves, our compliance and submission, zoning out when being criticized, avoiding close relationships etc, all these are anachronistic behaviors that are not adaptive today. They get us into trouble. And people look at us like we are weirdos because socially speaking it looks just as strange as cycling at the desk. Survivors often get bullied because of anachronistic behaviors.
CBT will fail to change our weird behavioral patterns when they are rooted in finishing actions of the past and we are unaware that the situation is over and done. Some Ts call this ‘treatment resistant’ in their patients but it is really a form of dissociation that can only be resolved through integration and specifically, presentification.
Re-enactment
Even if we are not aware of it, our head can be stuck in the past and that re-creates situations of the past in our present life. Because the past is experienced as too real, we use it as a blue-print for our interactions today. The way we make meaning of the world is an old one and it leads to the same old choices and consequences. What used to be important might not be important today and we might focus on meaningless details while missing the big context of a mature life. That way, there won’t be change. Because of a lack of realization of the past we make it our future.
Presentification in trauma
We need synthesis, realization and personification to properly manage presentification. It needs the highest level of mental energy and is lost first when we get stressed.
Grounding
There is a reason why Orientation&Grounding has an element of getting oriented in time. It is one of our powerful tools to reduce the effect of flashbacks. We pull ourselves into the present again while pushing the experience toward its place in time in the past. This won’t stop flashbacks from happening but it is valuable first aid. While words alone are not enough to achieve presentification, they do help to get there. So keep telling yourself what year it is and that the past is past. It is doing something.
Trauma processing
Trauma Work usually includes the element of time by creating a timeline of events with a beginning and an end. It is especially important to realize that the traumatizing experience actually did have an end. That is a powerful realisation and it finishes a complex mental action that leads to an integration of the memory. In Synthesis we put the puzzle pieces together, in Realization we know deeply that it was real and what it was like, with Personification we took it in as belonging to us and in Presentification we put it in its place in history. It belongs to us and it has influenced our life and partly made us who we are today, but it is an event of the past. That way there is a completion, the experience has found its place and can stay there instead of intruding on our present. The elements of dissociation that kept the memory stuck are dissolved. The trauma becomes an embedded part of our history.
Change and meaning
With presentification comes the awareness of change. We have changed. We grew up, got tall, learned skills, found love. We are not the little kid we used to be. When we are not stuck in the past we can realize and feel these changes and settle into our present identity and life.
The abusers have changed as well. They got older, maybe they are sick or dead. We probably didn’t fully realize that before because our picture of them was stuck in time with our other memories. A grounded view of who they are today can help us to let go and move on. They are not worth spending any more time on.
There will be all kinds of changes happening when we can step out of anachronistic behaviors and old patterns. And we will leave them behind once we know that the past is in the past because suddenly they don’t even make sense to us anymore. We might look down, notice that we sit at our desk cycling, feel confused over why in the world we are doing that and simply stop. Behaviors that no CBT in the world was able to change can change within a day when the old experience gets integrated.
Putting the past in the past can change our sense of self, self-worth, boundaries, self-efficacy etc. Our interpretation of our experiences changes and we create a different meaning from it than we did before. With new meaning comes new choices. That is why therapy isn’t over after trauma processing. We get some extra time to get used to changes, to figure out who we are today and what our goals for the future are.
Integrating trauma can make a huge difference. The memory won’t go away, but we can finally move on.
Lack of presentification in DID
A structural problem
Structural dissociation leads to a special situation for DID systems.
ANPs are usually well aware of the present, but they lack knowledge and realization of the past.
Meanwhile, traumatized parts are stuck in the past, experience it as endlessly happening now and they have little to no awareness of the present. Often controlling parts are stuck in the past too, though some might be aware of the present enough to show anachronistic behavior in response to present day situations. That is when parts punish us for ‘misbehaving’ because they noticed that we broke old rules but they failed to notice that our whole life is different now and the rules don’t apply anymore. So even with present day information the meaning-making in EPs is flawed. That leads to conflicting goals within the system.
Intrusions
Parts who are stuck in TraumaTime often can’t keep their experiences all to themselves. We are not independent from each other, somehow we are connected, even if it is only a tiny bit. That means there will be intrusions that the ANP will experience like flashbacks but they won’t change no matter how much orientation&grounding or mindfulness we use. Tools to manage flashbacks are useless here. So are DBT skills and most of the other techniques taught. If we don’t introduce presentification to the parts stuck in TraumaTime there will be no end to the intrusions. We will feel out of control and there is very little we can do unless we work toward connection and integration. ANPs cannot ignore the past and pretend there is only the present. They will only experience more depersonalization and derealisation to cover up the intrusions. And probably wonder why they can’t manage their dissociation and why nothing works. They are not a mystery patient. This is classic.
Child parts
One of the trickiest areas where we see a lack of presentification is in child parts who perceive themselves as little and naturally act that way. This is highly anachronistic for systems in an adult body and can lead to all kinds of confusing and painful experiences. I know some people are highly invested in keeping that dissociation in the hope of giving themselves a happy childhood. While I very much understand the need, it won’t help us heal long-term. In full presentification our sense of being a child moves to the past where it gets embedded into our life history, and based on that foundation we live with an awareness of being grown up now. This process is closely intertwined with personification and it is very, very advanced, so we won’t have to worry about it too much until we get there, if we get there at all. We will need to find strategies to be safe with parts who believe they are still small though. The world out there is not safe for adult bodies who act like they are toddlers.
Presentification in DID
Starting small
Connecting all parts of our system with the present is a long-term project. We can use the usual tools for orientation&grounding, but we need to support our traumatized parts to do them with us. We invite them to look through the eyes and see the world outside, to notice all the details of our present life and engage them in present-day actions. We prefer to do that while walking in the dog park, while making cookies or playing. It is best to start with safe and fun activities and then add boring everyday things, like washing dishes, folding laundry etc. That way the Littles can learn that while life is sometimes fun and mostly boring, it is actually safe and very much different from the past.
Trauma processing as a team comes later. We have already gained a lot when Littles actually become aware that today looks different and they stop being caught in a constant flashback.
For some it might be helpful to imagine a rescue mission, where parts who are more grounded in the present or inner helpers rescue traumatized parts out of the scene or memory they are stuck in. You need to prepare that with your therapist because it does involve some trauma material that could get overwhelming if not handled properly. For some Littles that is a very convincing act that helps them to arrive in a new reality.
Reality checking
It can take quite a while until the present isn’t confused with the past anymore. Parts will show anachronistic responses while they are ‘in between’. That is when we can cooperate in doing reality checks. Parts can compare how they perceive a present day situation, what their interpretation is and support each other in understanding and making meaning of today.
This will often be needed to get a clearer picture of relationships, especially with helpers or authority figures. It needs a constant effort to sort through the old goals of past experiences that we still try to solve in this new relationship.
‘Our T cannot be our mother. She is busy being our T and Ts do very different things from what a mother would do. Yes, it hurts that our mother wasn’t doing what she should have done, but that is in the past and long over. Parts are still looking for attachment and caregiving, but our T is the wrong person to expect that from. She is a T, not a caregiver. ‘
‘Our T won’t hate us for being needy. That was our mother, she was mean to us long ago, how many years ago? More than 30 years ago. That is when our mother was mean whenever we needed something. Our T gets paid to help us out when we can’t cope. It is her job. She hasn’t been mean before and she will not be mean now. She said we could write when things are too hard to figure out, so we are allowed to do this and won’t get punished.’
These are standard situations. Past and present got mixed up. When we get used to endlessly reality-check things whenever we feel this certain kind of despair and drama come up, we can get our parts grounded in what is currently happening and while the truth might not always be what we want it to be, it is still a lot less painful that our mixed up experience would be.
It can take a lot of explaining and demonstrating and difficult feelings to get through with the realization that today is different, the people are different and that old behaviors are outdated.
The same is true with controlling parts, but in my experience they tend to be quicker in picking up the changes once they realize that their defenses aren’t needed anymore. But some might need intensive reality checking to leave old behaviors behind.
Meaning making
Being able to look back at the whole of our past can explain a lot of things. The puzzle pieces of our history create a more complete picture of how we got here and who we are. When we think about our experiences and behaviors in the context of our past they make sense. We won’t feel like we are crazy anymore, there is clarity instead. The amnesia that kept us from understanding can be overcome when we allow ourselves to know.
When experiences are integrated they change in relation to the rest of our life. What used to seem vitally important can lose its meaning altogether once we realize that the past is past. Parts who feel the intense need to control tiny details in our own life or in the behavior of others, might realize that these details lose their meaning when we don’t expect them to lead to the next trauma. Suddenly they become background noise, ordinary things, and our attention for making meaning of situations is free to focus on things that are actually important today. The perceived reality of a threat shifted toward the past.
When we as a system manage to see the world in the present in a more united way that isn’t constantly colored by being stuck in trauma, we will share more of our interpretations of what is happening and we will find more common goals. When we work on shared goals, we get more effective and functional in life.
Advanced presentification
It can happen at different times, sometimes during trauma processing, sometimes in other special moments or over time, but when we follow the path of integration further there will be a time when the child parts realize that they aren’t small anymore. And not with the shock of seeing an old body in the mirror, but with a realization that so many years, decades, have passed. They might start to age in our perception or maybe fuse with older parts or take their place in the foundation of who we are and not show up as separate from our memory anymore. It comes with grief over a childhood that was less than perfect and grief about having to give up the illusion of somehow going back in time to make it all better. When Littles change that can lead to grief for those parts who used to engage with them, too. It really changes a lot.
At the end of this path, combined with personification, we have overcome the DID. It usually needs more therapy to learn to live as One and stay integrated.
All this needs so much integrative capacity that it won’t happen spontaneously or before its time. When we get there we will be ready for it. There is no use in pushing it.
How far a system can get highly depends on their integrative capacity and resources. Dissociation is adaptive, when there is low capacity. None of this is supposed to put pressure on anyone. It is just a road map that shows the rough outline of a possible path.
What we can gain through presentification is a sense of self that includes all our life experiences at the same time, a sense of our past and present and a future we can build on a comprehensive understanding of our life history and how it influenced us. Our personality is a product of our life experiences and when we unite them our personality can become more cohesive too. Our life gains context and meaning.
For me personally presentification is the easiest to work on during stabilization. It puts a great focus on arriving in the present first. These small steps at the very beginning are already part of the integration journey and without being firmly grounded in the present, trauma processing will be messy. While grounding is the big presentification challenge for EPs, trauma work will be the presentification challenge for the ANPs. All times of our life need to get connected with their experiences to be put into proper relation to each other and shift in how real they feel for us.
The 3-phase model makes sense, so make sure to stick to it. Calling the last phase ‘integration’ is a bit outdated though, since everything that leads up to it is part of integration already.
In reality the elements of integration are closely intertwined. I very much enjoy keeping track of my own achievements, that is why I watch out for signs that some element of integration is happening. I find it very encouraging and I hope you will be able to recognize some of this in your own journey.
(You can find that info in The Haunted Self and The Trinity of Trauma (Nijenhuis) if you like reading difficult stuff)
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