If we are within our window of tolerance and there is an emotion we are experiencing and there is no need to regulate it down but a curiosity about what is happening to us, that is when we might want to explore.
To do that, creative approaches are indispensable. We won’t try to suppress an emotion nor will we try to ‘just get it out’ in the hope of getting rid of it fast. We will carefully look at it from all angles, express what we feel in a contained way and expand on it to create a better understanding. We are moving the emotion from the impulsive part of our brain through creativity to the part of our brain that helps us to comprehend with our mind. That is where we gain more control over our experience.
You can do this yourself, with or without a therapist, or guide younger parts of yourself through the process.
People differ in the way they can relate to art.
Writing
Some people can feel words deeply, they can paint pictures with words. In that case some kind of writing exercise could be the gate to exploring emotions.
That could be
- a poem or alpha poem
- word clusters
- creating a picture using words instead of brush strokes
- describing the emotion like a personified character
- a dialogue with the personified emotion
- elevenies (5 line poem with 1-2-3-4-1 words)
- haikus (3 line poem with 5 -7 -5 syllables)
- a letter
- sentence stems
- metaphors
- short stories
- ….
- ….
Here are some sentence stems that might help:
The feeling I am thinking about is…
If the feeling had a color (shape, texture, temperature, size, face, body, …) it would be …
(pick 1 or 2, not everything)
If it was an item (weather condition, flower, tree, something from nature, landscape, movie star, action hero, animal, toy, athlete, food, drink, building, …) it would be…
(pick 1 and expand on it later)
The place in my body where the feeling sits is… and…
If the feeling could talk, it would say…
And I would respond…
The thing that makes the feeling stronger is…
And what makes it weaker is…
The feeling is helping me with…
The way I deal with this feeling is…
But I could also…
I don’t want to go deeper into the feeling because…
I am afraid that if I let myself feel it all I will…
If the feeling was suddenly gone I would miss…
And that would mean…
And what I really want is…
(If you like this approach, check out Dr Treismans Treasure Deck Emotion & Sentence Completion cards. They were created for kids but adults can use them just as well)
To me, words are more manageable and less scary, because that are still relatively close to the mind.
That changes when we move to other mediums of expression.
Painting
Painting is like a field of endless possibilities when it comes to expressing ourselves.
We can use
- colors
By N. Hope
- shapes
- strokes
- thickness of color
- style
- kind of surface we paint on
- brushes or sponges or palette knives or fingers or whatever really
- textures like chalks or crayons or acrylic paint or watercolors or…
- controlled work or letting colors flow, mix or even pouring techniques
- ….
- ….
It is important to understand that we are not trying to create beautiful art here. We are just playing with colors to express something and to see what it looks like. The paper acts like a mirror to our soul. There is no place for perfectionism in this; whatever we do is just as it should be.
Before we start a picture we can listen to our body and intuition and let it guide us to the materials we can use for a specific picture. We like to start by choosing the texture of colors depending on our feeling, then the kind of surface to match it. We then pick the colors we feel inside. Often we don’t have any shapes in mind, so we just let the hands do whatever they want. It can be of great value to paint with fingers instead of a paint brush for the most intuitive work. You can look at the writing prompts for ideas, they can just as well be painted.
Take good care of yourself and protect your privacy when you are exploring things that you cannot grasp with your mind yet. It sometimes gets very clear when you look at the picture after painting it and not everybody should be able to see this. It happens, that things that are directly related to trauma memories show up in the picture. That is ok, it is contained on the paper. You can decide how you will handle the paper later, following your intuition and the idea of containing things.
You can mix your artwork with words or photos, creating collages, puzzles, road maps, folded art that can be opened to show a new dimension, working with colored paper and glue instead of paint, there are no limits to your imagination.
Painting is easily available, even at home, and it can help us to see with our mind what had only been a sensation before.
Sensory
Some people can relate to sensory experiences and touching things with their hands. If that is you, you might like to work with
- clay,
sand tray items
- modelling compound,
- play-doh,
- kinetic sand,
- stones with different surface textures
- fabrics
- beads, buttons, glass nuggets
- wood carving
- legos
- leaves, sticks, seeds or other stuff from nature
- ….
- ….
As a more sensory person you might understand things with your hands and they are best expressed through contact with materials that match the feeling. The sentence stems above could guide you and maybe you would profit from working with a sand tray in general.
We can add a dimension to our artful expression when it is not flat on paper but growing underneath our hands. Depending on the materials available you could even include sensual experiences like smell or sound to you experiment and use them for personal expression.
Masks
One technique that is somewhere between painting and crafts is the making of masks; invaluable for DID SystemWork. Usually one mask is chosen to express what the person might look like from the outside. Another mask can express the feelings that are hidden. It can be a great relief for the front parts who manage everyday life to be able to express all the things they are hiding from other people. Bringing these masks into therapy can open up a conversation to support them with their burden. You could also draw a line and paint 2 different halves or paint the outside different from the inside.
You can also create masks to express the feelings of some parts to make them more visible for other parts of the system. Masks can be painted, written on, things can get glued on them, they can get strategically damaged or added to them with play-doh, whatever fits the situation. Look for ‘white masks’ at your favored online (art) store, they are often sold in sets of 10 to 20, it is not expensive.
Mask could be integrated into a picture or even work with clay to expand on it.
Sound
There are people who respond best to sounds. Their heart is like a harp, with different sounds when different string are touched. If that is you, you could
- find music that matches your emotion (try classic, it’s more diverse than you think)
- invent a tune for your feeling
- play a tune on your instrument
- find a rhythm that fits
- beatbox
- rap
- try different things to find a sound that fits (using everyday items instead of instruments)
- rhythmically tap body parts where you feel the emotion
- give voice to your feeling
- engage with a partner for an echo
- ….
- ….
You might want to record what you are doing to listen to it later. Like with painting, the goal is not to climb the pop charts. We just try to express something. And just the act of giving it a voice, in whatever way we choose, can bring a relief and a deeper understanding. We find great comfort in wordless sounds of mourning, just listening to our own sorrow when it fills the room for a moment and then fades. Music connects us to other people and there is great value in music therapy groups if you are ready for that.
Please note that feelings are complex and often mixed. We can feel sad and angry and timid at the same time. Our creative expression can give room to explore that as well.
More creative ideas that can be used for self-expression
- dance/movements
- drama/ pantomine
- costume making
- puppets /play
- role playing
- wood crafting
- stone carvings
- comics
- baking emoji cookies
- body maps
- using glass containers to fill or paint or write on
- wax/candle making
- papier- maché
- decorate the room to become a scenery
- ….
- ….
If you come up with something that is not on this list, great! I cannot possibly name everything the human mind can come up with.
When working with emotions and expressing them we try to increase our own understanding of what is happening inside. It means that we can start to make sense of it all, organize our experiences and therefore gain more self-control. We are moving away from being overwhelmed and flooded and towards contained management of our emotions. We are also creating a head-heart-hand connection that helps us to have a more integrated experience. The more integrated the healthier the experience, and therefore easier to manage.
Expand
After we have explored and expressed we can decide if maybe we want to expand on that. It is not always necessary, but there can be treasures hidden from our awareness that we can still discover. We can look at our creation and ask more detailed question about why we did things in a certain way, a therapist would be able to help and see new things in it that we were not aware of.
If you are not working with an art therapist, ask your T if they are any good with interpreting art work. Not everyone is.
Expanding could also mean looking at the broader context of our emotion.
We might look at
- the events surrounding it
- our behavior
- interpersonal relationships
- social context/ expectation
- body sensation/physical connections
- triggers
- memories
- fantasies, expectations and worries
- sensory stimulation of the situation
- recurring experiences with this emotion
- things that make it better or worse
- things that have helped us in the past
- how it is helpful/harmful
- how it fits into the story of our life
- ….
- ….
Expanding can happen within the medium you have already chosen, it means creating something around your initial creation to make it more clear. You can also work across disciplines and eg. put your sand tray on a piece of paper and paint around it.
We will end with a more unusual written exercise for expanding that is inspired by the idea of stepping stones (Progoff).
Emotional Stepping Stones
Take a minute to be still and breathe and just be present with your pen and paper and your emotion.
When you are quite and connected inside, describe your feeling and the situation that surrounds it. Describe it as neutral as you can, including your thoughts, body sensations, behaviors or impulses for behavior, the people connected to it, the conversations that took place, the works you’ve been doing at that time and your responsibilities, your social connections and status, your dreams and hopes… grasp as much of the bigger picture as you can.
When you feel that it is enough, read it out loud to yourself and take a moment to sense the whole situation inside of you, let it sink in. Maybe read it a couple of times and observe how your inner response to it develops.
Take a huge step back and look at the timeline of your life. When were the times when you felt like that before? Write down single words or key phrases to describe that moments, something that catches the memory in just a headline. Focus on the key situations, no more than 10. Sort them chronologically.
Then you can start to read these ‘stepping stones’ out loud, so you can hear their sound and taste them on your tongue. Follow them through the timeline of your life to this day and feel the history and the movement of life, ever advancing. Notice the changes that happened over time. Try to feel how the flow of time will continue, even past your current experience. Read your list as often as you need to.
If a certain stepping stone stands out to you, take some time to remember that situation, describing it with all that surrounded it, like you did with the current situation, read it to yourself and let it sink in.
Notice similarities and differences to the current situation. Take a moment to feel that inside too.
Maybe you have learned enough about yourself for today. Then you can notice how you are feeling now that you have looked at these things, what has moved you and what you have learned. Write it all down.
If you want to look at more, return to reading the stepping stones out loud. Feel the flow of time and maybe pick another experience to explore.
Stepping stones are an intense tool to integrate emotion into the story of our lives. It is especially useful for stuck feelings that seem to repeat themselves. The revelations found here might not be pretty and we need to accept them with grace and mindfulness as part of our history that cannot be changed, but also part of a story that continues and that can change. Mourning is often a sign of this integration.
Only expand on emotions when you are grounded and ready. You don’t need to do that all the time.
Taking a closer look at emotions can be scary. Sometimes we don’t want to know all that is inside of us. It needs courage. We can’t numb emotions completely without losing orientation in life. The more we can integrate our emotions into who we are, the less overpowering they will be. They can change from something that has been tormenting us to something that gives depth to our experiences in life. And that makes life itself deeper and more meaningful.
Back to emotional regulation
Leave a Reply