What would make a difference?
This is an essential question in DID therapy.
Many of the normal therapy tools fail to reach deeper into the system than the facade of a host.
The host agrees to do what is asked. They always do what they are supposed to do. But, does it make a difference?
Often it does not. It is just a new thing that we have to do now because that is how it is done. It is not helpful but it is in the manual of things that are supposed to help and clinics want to see compliance with their methods.
What would it need to make a difference?
We need to find the things that do make a difference and focus our effort on them.
These might not be things from a therapy manual. These manuals are written with other mental health issues in mind. They are written with a statistically average person in mind who fits the model that is used. But what does it need for us to feel a difference? We are real human beings with real experiences that deserve real change.
What would make a difference right now?
This question makes our interventions relevant for self-help. What are the small things we could do ourselves to make a difference for ourselves? It is how we can learn self-care without it becoming yet another chore on the endless list of things we are supposed to do.
Can you notice the difference?
And once we find that, can we hold on to it and notice it without dissociating it right away?
Without forgetting it again. Or running away from it because it feels strange when something makes a difference. Can we let it sink in: Something is different.
This is how our mind gets a chance to integrate change.