Most of my therapy journey was based on scanning my body permanently, looking for early signs of dissociation, so I could choose the right tools to counter it.
I was looking for reasons to act.
It is stressful to live like that because it keeps up a certain degree of hypervigilance at all times. I was always in a possible war zone, ready to jump into this fight against dissociation.
My world is turning upside down, due to body work. I am training myself to scan my body, looking for signs of safety, for everything that feels good or maybe a tiny bit better than before.
I am looking for reasons not to act.
It is not necessary, I live in peace now. The body can finally relax. And weirdly enough, dissociation left without a fight.
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