Especially early in our therapy we will run into situations where it would be necessary to communicate and negotiate with other parts but we can’t because we haven’t established a line of communication yet. We don’t hear these parts and they don’t have a way to reach us except maybe through creating symptoms in our body. These physiological symptoms are usually unspecific and it is impossible to guess what they are trying to say. In these cases our Ts will probably introduce finger signals to give parts a new way to communicate.
The technique is inspired by hypno-therapy but we don’t need to get hypnotized to make it work. All we need to do is let go of our hands. Our parts might have already shown that they have some control over our body and that they can influence it even though we are fronting. Our T will speak through to them and ask them to notice our hands. They can then pick a finger to lift or a specific other movement that means Yes. Our T will ask them to show what they picked and confirm that this is really their signal for Yes. Then they get to pick a signal for No and one for Stop and the confirmation process is repeated. Giving parts the choice to stop a line of inquiry is very important to avoid overwhelm. Often, parts lift different fingers as signals. Sometimes they make a gesture with the hand, like a flap or a fist. I have also seen parts choose a different signal for Stop that was not limited to hands. It is easier to observe though, when we can limit our attention to hands only.
When our Ts use this technique with us, they are usually trained in how to do it properly without influencing our answers. Because all they can ask are Yes-or-No questions they could easily be accused to be leading us to conclusions in some way. Even if they have the strong suspicion that it was Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with the Candlestick they wouldn’t just ask ‘Was ist Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with the Candlestick?’. They get trained to ask in every direction and include things that are unlikely and then narrow it down. Before bringing up the Billiard Room they would ask about the Conservatory, the Library, the Study and the Ballroom. That way we all gain some experience with the signals and some security that the answers are correct.
You will usually hear your T translate the finger signal into a yes or no by speaking the response for the part who is signaling. That way you get to hear it all as a full conversation, even if you chose to close your eyes or can’t watch what happens. It also gives parts a chance to correct themselves in case they got the signal wrong.
It needs a skilled T who is creative with their questions, to explore the main conflict or needs and how to help a specific part. Still, this method is a lot better than having no communication at all. It is a first step to get access and offer help. Once we have gained some experience and trust in the method we might be able to use it ourselves, until we can open up new lines of communication. It is vastly easier when a T guides the conversation and asks questions in the role of Mediator. This really isn’t a self-help tool. I just want you to know that it can come up in therapy and that it isn’t something weird your T invented. Finger signals are used very frequently when no other communication is possible.
It is uncomfortable to see your fingers moving without doing it intentionally. They are usually a bit slow to respond, like you are sleepwalking, and that is a sign that it is real. Not being in full control of the body can be scary. Seeing proof that we are not alone in the body and that someone else is answering questions we could not answer ourselves can be challenging. But oh the relief of being able to communicate and finally understand what is even going on with that other part and why we experience the symptoms we have. Finger signals are priceless in these very specific situations where no other method of communication works.
You can find infos on finger signals in many books on DID treatment. It is an older technique taken from hypnosis. The most thorough example I have seen is in The Trinity of Trauma – Enactive Trauma Therapy by Ellert Nijenhuis, chapter 33 where you can read a full transcript of a therapy session with explanations added.
More about working with hands for DID
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