“In every job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job’s a game
And every task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree! It’s very clear to see that
A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”
Mary Poppins
I wish it was that easy, but there is a grain of truth in it. Things do feel more manageable when we make them a game. It takes the stress out of the situation by adding playfulness.
While the task is still challenging, there is also a chance to win a reward and there is something utterly satisfying about rewards. They acknowledge the battle, the fact that it has been hard to reach the goal or do the deed. They increase the motivation to do things that we would usually consider boring, unpleasant or &$§%)?
At the same time it can help us to take the challenge less seriously. As trauma patients we tend to see things as a matter of life and death, even when they are not. When it’s a game, losing a round is not a disaster, the level can be repeated any time, new cards are on the table already. Usually not finishing a task will not get us into major trouble. A more playful approach could help us to relax a little. Pressure is not helping our PTSD.
I will share with you two different ways we gamify our challenges on difficult days.
The adventure
We love adventure games. You walk through certain scenes, talk to people, collect items and use them to solve a problem. If we have to face difficult tasks, we sometimes play them like an adventure game. We go to the store, talk to the sales person, collect the item, solve our problem.
The fact that we are pretending to do it in a virtual reality gives us some emotional distance, like we are living life using the screen technique.
The adventure games we play are always safe. The main character cannot die or get hurt and gets all the time in the world to finish a quest. We find it easy to relax into that imagery. The thought of a “quest” helps us not to get distracted and finish our tasks.
If the challenge could not be solved in a first attempt it is possible to repeat the level as often as needed. Helpers can be brought in. There is no “game over”, we just have to find a different way.
If the challenge was big we will earn a reward. We call it a „superhero point“. They are granted for finishing a task under a lot of pressure, caused by stress and/or the importance of the matter and/or a possible time limit, or when a part of our DID system did something that is usually not within their responsibility. Littles can earn superhero points for being very brave and hiding well during difficult situations or sharing important things in therapy.
If someone has earned 5 superhero points they can pick a small gift (up to 5$)
I will admit that sometimes, when we hit serious crisis, we play it like a battle game, as “last man standing” (hopefully more like last team standing). It offers a challenge for our older parts to compete with each other and the situation by staying grounded, functioning and alive. It takes the sense of despair out of crisis and pushes us to be proactive and engaged.
Gamifying online
If you need more support than just imagery work, we would recommend trying habitica.com
(No, we don’t get anything for sharing this here. We just want to tell you about a valuable resource, it’s free anyway)
Habitica offers a differentiated way to turn your daily self-care habits, tasks and to-do list into a personalized challenge. You also create your own little role-playing avatar. There are different rewards for finishing a task
- Experience points, that will help your avatar to raise in level
- coins, so you can buy new equipment for your avatar and help them gain strength
- magic potions, that can be used on
- eggs, to hatch little pets! How cute is that!
- Pet food, so you can raise your pets to become mounts
Our personal experience is that for the adults it feels good to earn coins. It somehow acknowledges that what we are doing is real work.
Our teens are totally into the role-playing elements (like choosing if you want to become a thief, wizard or warrior, and getting funny equipment)
The Littles love the virtual pets. They are easier to calm when we can promise that we will feed the pets in the evening. We take time every evening to do just that. It buys us a lot of compliance.
All in all it helps us to be more focussed on balancing ourselves, because it keeps self-care habits and action tasks on one page, so we won’t forget one or the other.
If you use a page like habitica you need to make sure that you do not overwhelm yourself.
You decide about your tasks. There is no competition with others in the way things are rated.
We would recommend a foundation of self-care habits like
- shower
- meals
- drinking enough
- going outside
- exercise
- taking your vitamins
- taking a break
- social interaction
- happiness journal
Especially the 5 pillars of stability. On difficult days that is plenty!
Then you can add things to your to-do-list.
You need to check with yourself daily to see what is reasonable. Don’t expect yourself to be able to do the same things every day. We are not always the same. We need to adapt our to-do-lists to us, not try to force us to match our list.
“Do what can be done today.”
Don’t set yourself up for failure by planning for an ideal day of an ideal person. That will just make you feel bad about yourself, if you can’t reach it. Small steps that are manageable will get you far enough. If it is adding pressure instead of motivation, check your set-up and change it.
Habitica offers the possibility to join a guild. You can choose a main topic and I would recommend joining one about self-care or mental health. It means that you can have social support in your challenges.
I hope that this inspires you to find your own way to add a little playfulness to your day, especially when times are difficult.
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