Trauma therapists often recommend keeping a journal, especially when people struggle with dissociation or DID. But the great majority of patients experience difficult emotions, frustration or boredom when trying to write and quickly give up.
The advice wasn’t bad. A journal can help with:
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reflection
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system work
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emotional regulation
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memory work/ amnesia
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documentation of life
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self-expression and
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containment
You just have to know how to use it and when to do what kind of writing!
I’ve been journaling since 1998. Here are my tips and tricks to make it work.
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try different notebooks
The Journal
Choose a notebook and use it for journaling only. Pick something practical that is easy to write in. Decide according to your personal preferences if the pages should be lined, dotted or blank and how big the notebook should be. If it motivates you, pick something with a nice cover, but don’t invest into the romantic idea of a secret treasure diary. A journal is a tool in your toolbox. I’ve been using spiral-bound notebooks for years now.
There are a few people who prefer typing, which is always an option. Voice recordings are extremely impractical to work with.
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Guidelines
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spelling doesn’t matter. This is not the place for perfectionism and grammar nazis.
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keep it private. Not even your partner should read it. If you want to share some thoughts, do so in person. Communicate with the people in your household. Let them know that it is a workbook that doesn’t contain a hidden“truth“ about you that they could discover, just a bouncing back of all kinds of thoughts, a lot of them is stuff you don’t even believe in. There is nothing valuable for them to find there. If they want to get to know you better, they need to start a conversation with you and simply ask. That is how true connection is built. -
exercises can be stopped at any time, you don’t have to finish anything if it doesn’t feel helpful.
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put a date and time to every entry, it will help you to stay oriented when you re-read things or look for specific topics or days.
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leave space for later comments at the side. Some even just write on every other page and leave one blank for later reflections.
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Fold in pages that contain triggering material, to make sure you don’t accidentally read it when it is not the right time to take care of it.
fold it in
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reward yourself for especially difficult writing
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don’t rip out pages or scratch out anything. It might not satisfy you in that moment but it is still important and there is a reason why you wrote it. Just leave it there and reflect on it later.
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be honest, even blunt. You know your truth, there is no need to make it look prettier and soften it. Ruthless honesty often leads to greater breakthroughs.
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Choose your favorite language to write in, if you are multilingual.
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If you have DID you might want to add:
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every part is allowed to write. Or draw pictures. If someone wants to write but can’t, maybe another part can assist and make sure to mention who was sharing.
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nobody is allowed to harm the journal or do something to the words others have written
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don’t judge each other’s writing, thoughts, feelings etc. There is nothing to judge. It just is what it is.
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Don’t intentionally trigger your others, mark difficult passages with a trigger warning or fold the page in.
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if someone folded in a page, don’t read it without asking permission. This might not be the right time.
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color code who is writing for more clarity and structure, if you cannot tell apart your handwriting. You could choose colored pens to write with or markers at the side of each paragraph.
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discuss the when, why, where and how of sharing what you have written with your therapist or other helpers. Respect personal boundaries.
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You can engage in conversation with other parts in the journal, but you don’t have to. If you do, it can help to address parts personally.
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When people think of journaling they usually think of free writing, which is the most difficult way to work with a journal. It is easy to wander around aimlessly with our thoughts, or dive too deep and end up in trauma material. Free writing is best for times when we are safely within the window of tolerance. When we struggle we need safe boundaries and guidance, which means more structured journaling exercises.
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How to use free writing for best results
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Documentation (for intense dissociation and amnesia)
Take 5 minutes, use a timer so you won’t get lost, and report what you have done/experienced since your last entry. Focus on the present and your outside experiences. Describe mindfully. Do NOT describe any emotions or thoughts. Don’t try to cover up gaps in your memory, it’s ok. Repeat 3 times a day.
This can help you to feel more grounded in the present, make you aware of amnesia or times of dissociation, remind you of what happened earlier that day and increase your sense of safety.
If you experience intense dissociation, this is all the free writing you should do until you are more grounded. Turn to a structured exercise for better support.
Reflection (to sort through present thoughts and feelings)
Set your timer to 15-20 minutes to avoid getting lost. Start with a headline, topic, question or sentence stem to complete and keep returning to that during your writing to stay on track. Write down what you think and feel and need in the present moment concerning a present situation. Do not write about things from trauma time. When you are done, re-read what you have written and take notes about things you notice, underline key sentences, mark questions you need to find answers for.
This can help you with grounding and emotional regulation as well as doing reality checks, exploring choices or recognizing current needs. It can also offer you a safe place to express yourself and vent.
Containment (working with trauma material)
[Caution: This is not normal journaling! It shouldn’t be a daily practice. You should never force yourself to do this for any reason. You shouldn’t try if you are dissociating already. You should not abuse this as a tool for emotional self-harm or to prove to yourself that you can survive it.]
Set a timer to give you an alarm every 5 minutes, if possible one that you have to manually switch off.
Think of a symbol of hope, light, grounding and the present to use as an anchor. Draw it at the middle and bottom of each page. It can remind you to step out of your writing and breathe, take a short break before you continue. If you are losing yourself in memories, recall your symbol and let it guide you back to the present.
Describe the trauma memory that is haunting you that day. You will get the most relief if you can tell the story with a beginning, middle and end. It is normal that memories are fragmented and incomplete, just describe what you can. Name the triggers of this specific scene as you tell your story. Don’t fall into the memory, just describe like a distant observer, without trying to dig anything up or re-experiencing things. If you want to you can imagine that you fix the scene, including the triggers, to the paper you write on, to keep it contained within the ink. When you are finished, fold in the page or remove it from the notebook to store it in a separate container. You could even give it to your T to keep it for you. Reward yourself with some extra self-care.
This is useful when a certain memory keeps getting triggered throughout the day and smaller attempts of containment have not been enough. We journal every day, but we only use this exercise 2-3 times a year.
This is the kind of free writing that I personally practice. I decide depending on the situation, my level of grounding, my needs and the topics I want to write about. In other situations it is best to turn to a structured exercise.
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