One of the most important tools we can learn in trauma recovery and self-regulation is how to look around. It sounds too simple to be true, but I promise, it can make a huge difference.
Here is how to look around
Sit down so you are facing the room or your environment. Maybe keep the wall behind you or sit in a chair that feels like it is protecting your back.
Start to slowly move your gaze from one side of your field of vision to the other. We like to call this exercise the ‘lighthouse’ because we let our gaze wander left to right and back again like a big searchlight.
Stop to take in details of what you are seeing with awareness.
Notice your inner reactions to what you are seeing.
Keep looking at everything you see while letting your gaze drift. Breathe.
Notice how the things you are seeing are safe and nothing bad is happening. Right here, right now, it is ok.
Keep looking around. Don’t stop after 30 seconds. Look around for at least 3 minutes while taking in that nothing bad is happening.
Stick to it, even if it is boring. Boring just means that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Keep looking around with awareness.
Looking around for pro’s
Find a place that looks especially nice or inviting or interesting.
Linger there. Take in how nice it looks.
Notice your emotional reactions.
Keep looking at the place that looks so pretty and enjoy it
Looking around for DID systems
It helps to look around together as a team. Maybe parts who are not fronting can be co-conscious and look through the eyes from further back. Maybe parts sit in their Safe Places and they have a monitor that shows them exactly what the eyes can see. That way many parts could notice that it is safe, pretty or just boring out there and there is nothing to be afraid of. Parts who are not struggling don’t have to join in if they don’t want to.
You probably think I lost it, bothering you with such nonsense. But this really is the foundation of Orientation & Grounding and the most basic exercise you will ever learn.
Here is why it works
Our eyes take in information that is then sent to the brain. The brain processes it. We realize what we are seeing and evaluate it. Our assessment: Yes, this is safe. This is beautiful. I am safe here. Nothing bad is happening.
This information influences our body. We start to relax because we feel safe.
When we keep taking in information of safety from our surroundings we can deepen the felt sense of safety and our body will calm down and regulate. Even if we were really stressed before. (Check out the polyvagal theory)
Taking in what is actually happening here and now with awareness makes it feel more real than the pictures, thoughts and memories that we had in our head before. Looking around is how we do our reality check and realize that none of that is happening right now.
It is key to look around long enough and only focus on adding the safe information from our environment. The body needs some time to calm down and only doing it for a moment like in the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise is often not enough for more than basic orientation. Natural regulation needs time. A couple of minutes usually do the trick.
If you follow us for a while you know that we are advocating for gentle and natural methods over DBT skills. If done properly, this is just as effective without having to add aversive stimulation. Regulation can just be pleasant and soothing. Try it for yourself. It can help increase your window of tolerance over time, as it leads to a more grounded lifestyle.
We are living in troubled times. The media can be scary. The pandemic is scary. Every day there are news that make mentally healthy people freak out and lose touch with reality. Stay home. Stay safe. Look around in your own home. Right here, right now, it is ok. This exercise can keep you sane in a world that doesn’t offer a lot of safety right now. Maybe you are even inspired to create beautiful areas in your home that you can look at to calm yourself.
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