Our thoughts are often like monkeys, jumping from one tree to the other. With depression or PTSD they might also be circling and sometimes become tornadoes that suck us into a dark place. It takes practice, but we can learn how to gain more control over our thoughts through meditation.
Nobody is “good” at meditating. When I was young I read that meditation is thinking of nothing at all, to empty my mind. That has never worked for me. I don’t know if it is possible at all.
Instead of emptying our mind it is a lot easier to fill it with something that we choose on purpose.
Mindfulness meditation
The most common way to do this is to focus on your breath, but if that is uncomfortable, you could use something else. Mindfulness is guided awareness. You guide it to feeling and experiencing your breath and include your thoughts as well. You sit down, you breathe deeply, in and out, a constant flow. That is calming in itself. In your mind you do something like this:
“There is my breath, in… and out…. there it is…. in …. and out… my breath…. going in and out… still there…. in and out… breathing…. in and out… I can feel it…. in and out…” You might not fully shape the words, but your thoughts stay with the breath.
Sooner or later they will wander. That is normal. That is where the meditation becomes a practice that will help you in life. You take your thoughts from where ever they have wandered and bring them back to your breath. No scolding, no fuss about it happening, just gently bringing them back. All this is not about learning to think of your breath alone, although that comes in handy sometimes. It is mostly about training yourself to take your thoughts from one place to another without much effort.
If you can’t sit still you might find value in a fluid Yoga practice or Qi Gong. They are based on the same principles of mindful awareness.
If you learn control over your thoughts in mindfulness meditation, it will be easier to step out of difficult situations and calm yourself.
Our thoughts are closely connected to our emotions. Entertaining painful thoughts can cause one of those tornadoes. When you feel yourself being sucked into a dark place, please check your thoughts and change them by taking your thoughts and bringing them back to something safe. That could be your breath, as you have practiced this mental movement already. It could also be more positive thoughts. That is why some people practice mindfulness mediation with a mantra, a positive sentence that is repeated in the mind.
Be a good shepherd who brings the sheep of your thoughts to greener pastures.
Contemplation
Contemplation could be translated as observation or reflection. It is a form of meditation that is found in many cultures. I personally have good experiences with christian contemplation. You could also use nature or a belief that is meaningful to you.
You pick a positive scene or picture that represents a helpful idea or concept and fix your attention, thoughts and emotions on that imagery. I usually choose positive pictures from the Bible, like Jesus healing a leper. There could be calm in imagining a mother taking care of her baby in a loving way, or a river constantly flowing by or a baby bird slowly making its way out of the egg.
You just stay with that picture, observe, sense your thoughts and feelings about it, let them pass and maybe follow those that are helpful, let them circle around the image. As in any kind of meditation you will get side-tracked. When your thoughts wandered off, bring them back to the scene and start thinking about that again.
Contemplation is not as close to the body as a breathing meditation and sometimes people who dissociate easily get lost in it. But people who really struggle with mindfulness that is focused on the body e.g. because of chronic pain, could find some help here. The element of imagery can be powerful to create more positive emotions. Sometimes we actually start to process things in contemplation and experience moments of enlightenment. The practice of learning to control your thoughts is similar to mindfulness meditation, but there is more freedom to move around in your mind than just thinking about the breath.
Learning control over your thoughts will help you with anxiety, depression, intense emotions, being triggered and all kinds of mental health issues. It takes time to master. Remember that every time your thoughts wander, this is not failure, it is your chance to practice the inner movement of taking them somewhere else. When you learn that, you will spare yourself a lot of suffering.
More about mindful observation
More about imagery
Leave a Reply