When we are dealing with cPTSD and chronic dysregulation, relaxation is not a beginner’s exercise. It is important to learn Orientation & Grounding first and reduce chronic dysregulation. Trying to relax while being in a stress response will have negative effects. When we are in fight/flight and we try to hold still, the tension will become unbearable. A body that is already dissociated can easily drift into deeper dissociation, and flashbacks are more common in this state. The basic rule is: ‘Regulation before Relaxation’. Whenever we decide that we want to use a relaxation exercise, we need to use our grounding skills first.
Even after many years of practice I can’t relax for very long. Most exercises online challenge my attention span and I just can’t focus on doing one kind of exercise for an extended period of time. That is why I use several different kinds of relaxation techniques and chain them to create a longer exercise that will keep me engaged. You have seen me do this with mindfulness before.
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Relaxation isn’t meant to make us fall asleep. It can help with insomnia, but it is also important to learn how to relax during the day without switching off completely, especially with chronic pain. Smaller periods of relaxation can seep into our everyday life and reduce our overall tension. ‘Non-sleep deep rest’ is a hot trend right now. People who are easily hypnotized might enter a restorative trance state. If you remember the different uses of the word dissociation then you know that this is not something we need to avoid at all cost. We just need a way to return to our normal state of mind afterwards. Thorough grounding through the senses and an alarm clock might help.
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I will share with you a version of what we would do to relax in a lying position. It is a mixture of breath work, autogenic training, body scan, guided imagery and depending on the person it can lead into a bit of hypnosis. You can use only some parts and write your own versions that follow the same concept. I believe it is most powerful when used as shown. This is an advanced exercise and I expect you to have basic tolerance for sensing your body and breath before you try.
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Preparation
For this practice, please start by getting as comfortable as possible. Make sure that you have everything you need, pillows, blankets, and that your posture is completely comfortable for you. Take your time to shift things slightly and test if you are satisfied. Make small changes as needed
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Breathing Section
(for people who feel slightly shut down and exhausted, Audio 1)
Then you can focus your awareness on your breath and start by taking in two sips of air, in through your nose, and then slowly exhale, all the way, out through your mouth. Repeat that one more time, 2 sips of air in through your nose, and then everything out through your mouth. A last time, 2 sips in and slowly breathing out. Let your breath return to its natural rhythm. Maybe you can notice that it is deeper than it has been before or that you have taken your first deep breaths of the day.
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(for people who feel agitated, restless and driven, Audio 2)
Then you can focus your attention on your breath and start by noticing how you are breathing right now. You don’t have to change anything. Just notice how you are breathing. And in your next breath cycle, you can try to make the exhale a tiny bit longer, just a second or so. Don’t force anything. Let the air flow back naturally, as much as your body wants to take in. And slowly breathe out again, taking your time. Stop before your create any tension in your chest and just allow the air to flow back, fill your lungs deeply. And then take your time to breathe out slowly again, as slow as you can, without force, just breathing out. Repeat that a couple more time.
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Autogenic Training Section
Now it is time to focus your mind and express your intention for this practice. I will offer you sentences and you can slowly repeat them in your mind, using the rhythm of your breath to support you. Focus on the meaning of the words alone.
I am fully present and collected within myself.
Repeat that quietly in your own mind. I am fully present and collected within myself.
Quietly repeating, I am fully present and collected within myself. I am fully present…
My body is gently moved by the flow of my breath. Repeat that quietly, My body is gently moved by the flow of my breath. … My body is gently moved by the flow of my breath.
My arms and legs become heavy and my face is at rest. Repeat after me. My arms and legs become heavy and my face is at rest. And again, My arms and legs become heavy and my face is at rest.
I am entering a deep state of rest and relaxation. Repeat, I am entering a deep state of rest and relaxation. I am entering a deep state of rest and relaxation.
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Body Scan Section
Now we are leaving the world of thinking. And we enter the world of feeling, of sensation, from the heart and with our full awareness of our senses. We will start to rotate our attention through the body and if you like you can imagine a source of pure and restful peace*, like a big cloud or a pool that you can draw from. As we move our awareness to specific body parts we speak peace to these body parts, peace from the great source of peace.
Notice your big toe and all the other toes. Peace.
The soles of your feet. Peace.
Your heels and the tops of your feet. Peace.
Notice your lower legs from your ankles to your knees. Peace.
Your thighs, from your knees to your hips. Peace.
Your lower belly and lower back and everything in between. Peace.
Your chest and upper back and everything in between. Peace.
Notice your fingers and your thumbs. Peace.
The palms of your hands and the backs of your hands. Peace.
Your lower arms, from your wrists to your elbows. Peace.
Your upper arms, from your elbows to your shoulders. Peace.
Notice your neck and throat. Peace.
Your chin and jaw muscles. Peace.
Your nose and ears. Peace.
The eyes and all the tiny muscles around and behind your eyes. Peace.
Your forehead. Peace.
Imagine your brain as if it is a tense muscle and then allow it to release.
Opening up, unclenching. We speak peace to your brain and every little neuron.
Peace to your whole body. To every organ, muscle and deep into your bones we speak peace.
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Imagery section with elements of hypnosis
We will now use our imagination to create a rotation of inner pictures. Whatever comes to your mind is ok. I will describe a small sensory experience in one sentence and then repeat that description and then we let go of that scene and move on to the next. Everything flows and doesn’t linger.
The image of a cozy cottage at the beach. A cozy cottage at the beach.
The smell of coffee in the morning air. The smell of coffee in the morning air.
The sound of flip flops in the sand. The sound of flip flops in the sand.
Waves that play around your ankles. The sensation of waves playing around your ankles.
The taste of ocean air on your tongue. The taste of ocean air.
The sound of seagulls on a sunny day. The sound of seagulls. On a sunny day.
The sight of a fantastic sand castle. The sight of a magnificent, artful sand castle.
The smell of a bonfire in the evening air. The smell of a bonfire.
The light of lanterns around your beach blanket. The light of lanterns.
The sound of the ocean waves, steady and calm. The sound of the ocean waves.
A sense of fullness and rest within you. A sense of fullness and rest.
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Might you imagine to move with the ocean waves, as if you are one, with your breath coming in, and going out. And as you breathe in, you can imagine that you become weightless, floating up. With every in-breath more weightless. And as you breathe out, may you imagine becoming heavy, sinking, with every out-breath, sinking like a stone, so heavy. And then you become light again, as you breathe in, light and floating, easy movements. One with the waves, resting in the power of the flow, the waves moving back and forth, without hesitation, just gently moving. And might you imagine that you are one with the ocean, as your boundaries become translucent and you just move with the waves, allowing them to gently sway you.
And as the water surrounds you, you can feel your energy being restored, with each swaying motion you can feel an increase in strength and courage. And very slowly, very very slowly, you can feel the strength filling your body, the shape of You in the water. Imagine the strength building around the edges of who you are, filling you more and more, until you feel fully solid and firm again.
Allowing the waves to gently carry you back to the beach, to the cottage and to the place where you can rest. If you want to go to sleep now, you can end the exercise here and stay within this restful state.
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Grounding
If you just needed some time to relax during the day and you need to continue with your tasks, we will now take our time to fully return to the present. Start by gently moving your fingers and toes. Bring movement to your arms and legs. Open your eyes and look around. Then you can sit up and place your feet firmly on the floor. Notice the surfaces you can feel at about 30% of their intensity. The sounds you can hear, at about 30% of their intensity. The brightness of the colors at about 30% of the intensity. Now step into more of reality, notice everything around you very carefully at about 60% of its intensity. Sense your feet on the ground and all the surfaces twice as accurately as before. Listen to the noises as twice as real and very present. Look around and pay close attention how solid and real the items around you are. Now turn it up even more, to full 100%. Notice your feet, the ground, the surfaces at 100%, almost twice as real even as before, fully present with the experience. Listen to the sounds as they are 100%, almost twice as clear and grounded in the present. Look around as you are fully taking in the reality of the room around you. When you have reached 100% of being present, you can stretch, get up and move on with your day.
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We take so much time with slowly grounding ourselves in the present again because these kinds of exercises are meant to lead us into a trance state and people with structural dissociation often struggle to fully get out of a trance again. Not getting grounded can lead to confusion because we experience a parallel reality and act accordingly. We might not be oriented in time and space and we can’t leave that door open for trauma to come in. Thorough grounding is necessary for everyone who tends to enter trance states.
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Audio1 (starting with low energy)
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Audio 2 (starting with high energy)
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*You can pick anything you need here. You can also send things like love or hope or healing into every body part or use an imagery like light or a healing balm. I have a dear friend who simply likes to imagine switching body parts off. It is all up to you.
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