We like to have an organized life. When things start to get difficult we have a phased plan for a structured retreat that makes it possible to keep up self-care and the most important duties, while reducing stress and saving energy. We think of it like a rocket that drops different parts at certain points to get the space shuttle through.
If you work with the flylady system for adulting you would drop zones first, then all the parts of the weekly plan that are not essential to keep your life running. You would try not to drop too much of your routines because they contain essential self-care and that should never be dropped.
Critical times don’t last forever. Usually you just have to get through a couple of rough days. It means that you should re-organize yourself in a way that buys you time.
Look at your tasks. Can you
- cancel
- delegate
- postpone
- reduce
- exchange
them?
You don’t have to do everything all by yourself. Ask someone for help.
If nothing else, at least gamify them.
Whatever is left can be organized into a timeline.
What has to happen
- today?
- tomorrow?
- this week?
- next week?
- after that?
Be very strict with yourself and don’t allow anything in your „today“ or „tomorrow“ list that could wait a little longer. You are trying to buy time to get over a critical situation. You are not trying to be efficient.
Whatever does not have to happen this week should be contained. You don’t have to think about it at all. There is plenty of time to think about it after the critical situation has passed.
You will only look at what needs to be done today (and you might make a plan to help you do the same tomorrow)
Prioritize. Self-care is most important. If strength is limited, focus on eating, drinking, personal hygiene and proper sleep. You might have to face difficult duties you cannot avoid. Then plan for rest and relaxation. Try to do things that make you feel good, even if they are small. Some would argue that a critical situation is not the right time to go get a fancy coffee. The opposite is true. Go get that coffee!
Try NOT to
- make it extra hard by having rigid expectations of having to function
- be perfectionist (cleaning can wait til next week!)
- think ahead too much
- be around tricky people
- enter discussions on social media or watch the news all the time
- open your mail (just for a few days, let someone else read it first)
- push through therapy homework that is meant for stable seasons
- use toxic coping strategies
- fall out of your window of tolerance
- listen to everyone elses problems
- isolate yourself
- give up
Always remember that this critical situation will not last forever. You will gain more stability again. Difficult feelings will pass. Til then, you can focus on what is essential today.
If your critical situation turns into a crisis, please move on to your safety plan
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