We experience the world around us through our senses. Trauma has often taught us that these experiences of contact with the world are painful, scary, dangerous and need to be avoided. Some were taught to fear all their sensations, especially the pleasant ones. And so we learned not to experience the world through our senses anymore by using dissociation or avoidance.
Today the world is different. It is safe to experience. If only we could believe it and learn to trust our senses again.
A huge part of experiencing happiness and pleasure comes from experiencing small, enjoyable things in the world around us. To tap into the happiness of small pleasures and enjoyment we need to learn how to re-connect to the world with our senses.
For the sake of happiness I want to invite you to dare something and explore „pleasure“ with me.
Oxford Dictionary defines pleasure as
A feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. 1.1 Enjoyment and entertainment, as opposed to necessity. 1.2 An event or activity from which one derives enjoyment. 1.3 Sensual gratification.
To help you with your exploration we found 7 guidelines that might help
-
Enjoyment needs time. To pay attention to your pleasurable experiences you can’t be in a rush. Take your time. Maybe set aside some time during your day. Maybe it is wise to start with just a few minutes if you are completely unfamiliar with this feeling.
-
Allow yourself to feel pleasure. I know this can be hard. But life has changed and this is safe. Make sure all parts of you who oppose feeling enjoyment are firmly connected to the present reality. They might even like it if they allowed you to try…
-
Enjoyment needs your attention. Usually the hypervigilance takes up a lot of space in your brain, making you hyper aware of possible dangers. For a truly pleasurable experience you need to gently pull your attention away from protecting yourself and focus your attention on a small enjoyable experience. Maybe protectors won’t think that it’s safe. Can you make a deal with them?
-
Pleasure is different for everyone. No pressure to like what the rest of the world likes. Not even pressure to like what other parts of you like. You are free to explore and find out about your very personal taste. How amazing is that!
-
Less is more. Sometimes a small piece of swiss chocolate creates more enjoyment than a pound of chocolate. Make your experience something special that stands out during your day. Make it intentional.
-
Pleasure is a continuous exploration. Try new things. Even if you have found something you like, if you try similar things you might find something you like even more. Pleasure can almost always be improved a little bit.
-
There is pleasure in small things. Everyday life holds small moments, little experiences, that you can learn to pay attention to. They will sum up over the day and help you realize how beautiful life can be. The smell of coffee in the morning is just a start.
Every small thing that creates a feeling of pleasure in you is important and precious. Make sure you write it down and do it intentionally and more often in the future.
Maybe you would like to join us in
The A-Z of pleasure and enjoyment
For this you can make a list from A to Z and leave room for notes. Try to find something you enjoy a lot that starts with every letter of the alphabet.
A ___________________________________
B___________________________________
C___________________________________
…
You don’t have to find things in a certain order. Just write them down as you explore them. Maybe this will inspire you to look for more unusual things when you try to find something pleasant starting with X or Z. Of course you can write down more than one thing per letter!
If you want to be very thorough you can make an A-Z list for each sense, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, and include more, like eg. movement, to your list as you see fit.
If you have DID you can also make an A-Z list for each part of you, as your answers will probably differ in some areas.
Keep these lists like small treasures, turn to them for advice on how to safe your day when things are rough. If during some days happy moments don’t come easily, go ahead and make them happen. This exercise can teach you what you need for that.
Leave a Reply