This post is based on The one most important concept you NEED to know to stop dissociation: window of tolerance
To avoid dissociation we are trying to regulate ourselves within the yellow and green area.
Strictly speaking, skills for the green area are not “skills” as we know them. They qualify as “prevention” but I want you to think of them like they are skills, because they are equally important and you should know them by heart.
There are certain factors that increase your vulnerability for dissociation and while you cannot control every possible trigger, there are things well within your power to help you increase your resilience.
Sleep: when you are tired you have a greater tendency to dissociate. The mind is simply not at its best. I know, PTSD often comes with insomnia and nightmares, but do what you need to do to get enough sleep. Talk to your doctor about possible medication. While I cannot recommend sleeping pills (highly addictive!) there are other meds like anti-depressants or low potency anti-psychotics that can help you sleep.
Eat: your body and brain need to function. They need fuel. If you want to stand up against dissociation you need to be strong. Try to eat regularly and relatively healthy (some veggies don’t hurt). Allow your body to get what it needs. If you have an eating disorder, please seek professional help. Restriction as well as bingeing/purging weakens your defenses.
Drink: this is often overlooked but it is one of the easiest ways to help yourself. Stay hydrated. Even a small drop in hydration levels can have an effect on how well your brain functions. Keep a water bottle nearby. Drink like it is medicine. It is.
Move: if you sit still and don’t exercise your body collects tension, you get more restless and stressed, it’s almost like you are wandering into yellow territory by doing nothing. Regular exercise helps prevent dissociation (and depression!). Aim to do something active 3 times a week for about 30 minutes.
Pain: if you are in pain, do something about it. Do not just endure it. Constant pain will make your brain use dissociation to turn off that sensation. Take painkillers. See doctors when needed. Take good care of injuries. Be kind to yourself. You can make yourself tolerate pain but it will cost you stability.
Boredom, breaks and balance: beware of boredom. When you have nothing to do it is easier to zone out. It also leaves too much room to remember and get stupid ideas. Don’t get bored. But make sure you take breaks from whatever you are doing. It is easy to get so absorbed in work that you start to dissociate feelings and physical needs and self-care will suffer. Find balance between action and rest and while resting, avoid boredom.
Mindfulness & inner contact: check in with yourself throughout the day. See how you are feeling, what you are thinking, what you might need and if there is anything you could do to feel more comfortable. Remember self-regulation and self-care.
If you have DID this also means to check in with the others to see how everyone is doing, if someone got upset and if anything is needed. This is a good chance for a small chat, to build relationship and talk about the next steps for the day.
These short check-ins can have a major influence on your stability, as they make it possible to detect problems before they have grown into something serious. We like to do this whenever we have to wait for something, traffic, tea water, elevators…
All these things help to protect you from dissociation as well as self-harming behavior, which is common when you leave the window of tolerance. Make these a priority in your life.
When you have done all the right things, make sure to avoid what is bad for you.
Alcohol/drugs: while those seem to take the edge off some of your symptoms they have a terrible effect on your body and your brain. Drugs are a deadend. If you decide to depend on drugs to regulate yourself, you have given up your freedom and your motivation to get better through inner work.
Obvious triggers: don’t watch violent movies/porn or expose yourself to anything you know will be triggering.
Avoid harmful people and situations and as much stress as you can.
A word about avoidance:
Some avoid too much, way more than necessary. It means that they limit their own freedom dramatically by avoiding completely harmless things. Work on reducing this avoidance because freedom increases your quality of life. New, safe experiences can replace old memories.
There are others who push through all kinds of hard things, because it makes them feel stronger, when they “control” themselves under extreme circumstances. To do this they force themselves to split off their feelings and needs. “Freedom” to do all things isn’t true freedom, if it means that you have to cut yourself off from huge parts of yourself. Boundaries should be pushed from within the window of tolerance, the area were learning and growth is possible. Everything else means that you are just getting used to overwhelming yourself, which means that it will stabilize your symptoms and keep you from healing. You are actually making dissociation necessary! Read more in You can’t find Unicorns in Mordor
Learn some grace and kindness with yourself. Allow yourself to avoid the things that are truly harmful for you. Take care!
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