Raising dissociative barriers (DID SystemWork)

A lot of the work we do in Phase 1 of our DID therapy has to do with making inner connections, lowering dissociative barriers and creating co-consciousness. It is good to be closer together and more aware of the world outside. Yet there are moments when it creates difficulties. Being constantly co-conscious increases our risk to get triggered and to expose younger parts of ourselves to things they can’t handle. That could be

• doctors appointments
• court dates
• job evaluations
• medical emergencies
• action movies
• massages
• important paper work
• sexual interactions
• encounters with abusers
• taking pictures for your passport
• showers
• ….
• ….

You name it! These situations are very specific for each system. Some are big and rare but some are part of everyday life.

If we insist on being co-conscious all the time, we have to limit our freedom and only do what the weakest of us can cope with. And that is kind but it also creates a dysfunctional life. Some things are too important to avoid. And the adults need to be allowed to have an adult life too.

That is why in addition to our exercises for co-consciousness we need to practice raising the dissociative barriers again. The difference is that this time we do it on purpose, so we are in control of the structural dissociation. You might notice that it takes more energy this way but it is worth it, if it means that we can function in otherwise stressful or triggering situations and limit the passive influence of other parts

 

We can distance ourselves from other parts by moving to different places in the inner world. While some parts can stay closer to the front, others move to the back. They can gather in a certain room that is comfortable and inviting to spend some time there. You can create a room like that using your imagination. By imagining long hallways and doors or walls that separate the room from the front, you can reduce awareness of the outside world.

We find it especially helpful to have a small classroom for very curious Littles who want to know all about the things that will happen outside. A caretaker can give age-appropriate lessons to satisfy the curiosity so the Little won’t feel the irresistible need to peek outside.

 

An intentional separation might be key to taking medication correctly. Different parts sometimes suffer from different problems and need different medication. What is a good dose for an adult might drug a co-conscious Little. The effects of medication might not even reach the part who needs it.

Some people like to have a special room inside where medication is taken. So the part who needs it can enter and get what they need without it influencing others. If there is more than one part in need of certain medication they can come into the room together.

Others prefer to step closer to the front and raise a screen to separate them from their others. It doesn’t have to be a long separation to make it work.

Practicing this daily when calm makes it easier and the inner movement of raising the barriers becomes more natural and manageable.

 

 

I also recommend practicing an organized retreat for sudden difficult situations. We call it a fire drill.

Discuss who is most capable to deal with emergency situations. That could be your regular front person or a protector who stays calm and doesn’t enter flight/fight easily (Why). You don’t want it to be the most emotional parts of you either. Some teens are actually good at this but Littles shouldn’t be in charge.

When you have decided who will manage the emergency, everyone else can choose a place where they will go to hide. Maybe everyone simply goes to their safe place. Maybe there is a community room where you can keep each other company. Maybe some like to go see their Inner Helper or play in an imagery like The Inner Garden. If you have caretaking parts, they could stay with the Littles to distract them. Especially parts who are afraid of abandonment shouldn’t be left alone. You could even leave an advisor with the fronting part to support them.

Invent a signal that starts the fire drill and one that tells you that the situation is over and it is safe to come out again. Make sure that the signal can be seen or heard or perceived everywhere it is needed.

When the signal is given everyone moves to the place they have chosen as fast as possible. If you gamify it while you are practicing, the real emergency situation won’t feel so scary. Try to do it for a short time at least once a week.

Increase the time spent in hiding slowly with small situations that would be easier with a separation, but don’t forget to explain why you are practicing this and make sure nobody is isolated. Reward yourself with something pleasant afterwards.

 

All these are inner movements that need time and practice to coordinate with a whole system. It is not enough to theoretically know how to manage a situation. It is the practice of raising and lowering dissociative barriers intentionally that helps us to gain more control over our life. As long as we are not integrated we still need our structural dissociation to work for us. If we are only constantly working on removing it, we are setting ourselves up for failure and confusion. Instead, we need to work on controlling it. And that means being able to move both ways, closer together and further apart, depending on what the situation demands. A resilient stability is usually found in flexibility.