The place where you can cut costs the most is food. But you don’t want to compromise with your health!
The best way to save money on food is to learn how to cook. Fastfood is expensive and/or seriously unhealthy.
Make eating out special by not doing it.
Pick a few meals you want to eat and learn how to make them from scratch. The list can get longer over time, but start with 7 meals you can reliably cook.
Sit down once a week at a certain time to make a meal plan. Discuss with your system and agree on food. Plan breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for every single day. (It helps to stick to the same breakfast). Do not eat outside your meal plan. That shouldn’t be necessary! Plan realistically.
Keep your meal plan where you can see it. If someone gets restless and feels like they will go hungry you can look at it and calm yourself down. There is enough.
Make a shopping list. Always. Make. A. Shopping. List. Do not go shopping without your list. If someone made you „forget“ it, return home to pick it up. Be stubborn.
Discuss your shopping list at home.
Look at your pantry to make sure that you don’t buy things you already have. Meal-plan considering your pantry.
(For clothes: check what is in your wardrobe first. Discuss exactly what you will be looking for. Look for this only. That will also help you stay oriented and focussed in the store. When you look for a black shirt you can just ignore everything that is not black and not a shirt.)
Never go shopping hungry or especially depressed. It clouds the mind and you will buy more than you need.
Include treats in your shopping list. It is an illusion to think you could quit those altogether, especially with Littles. It helps to have some treats at home for rewards. Just keep a balance. We consider ice cream a treat. It is definitely not a need. Expensive fruit also count as treats.
Let your littles discuss and agree.
Treats don’t have to be food. Our Littles got fascinated with flowers and some weeks they pick a bouquet over chocolate.
Limit the treat budget to a small amount every week. It can be a great lesson for the kids to practice calculation, cooperation, conflict and compromise.
Some say you should buy all things for a week or more in one haul so you don’t have to go into a shop and come out with extra items that often. (We personally believe that the rule of the shopping list would solve this.)
Some, like us, go several times, with strict discipline, to get the freshest produce we can get. That way things don’t go to waste. Find out how your mind works and do what suits you best. Maybe try both to see what it is like.
Buy regional, in season and on sale. Get informed.
Learn how to recognize ripe or overripe fruit& veggies (YouTube. You can learn anything there!) and how to store things properly.
If you eat meat, reduce the amount. Cut out expensive groceries. Those will depend on the country you live in.
Control your portion sizes. Don’t eat everything you made just because it is there. Eat leftovers.
Freeze leftovers. With a good meal plan there is no reason why food should go to waste.
Keep frozen emergency food for difficult days. Sometimes it’s just not possible to cook. Instead of eating out or ordering in you can eat something remotely healthy from your freezer. (We always have frozen pizza at hand. Even the kids can make it and it’s better than going hungry)
Consider buying in bulk, if you know you will use it before it goes to waste.
Dried Chickpeas or beans are even cheaper than canned ones. Don’t look down on frozen veggies.
Always compare prices. Even for the same item (fresh, frozen, canned, other). Consider package sizes when comparing.
Consider buying veggies whole and cut them up yourself, they charge you extra just for chopping them for you.
Discuss the option of giving up brand loyalty. Look for sales instead. A good reason to stick to a brand would be eg. that a certain scent of laundry soap makes you feel calm and safe. Never go cheap if it costs you stability and resources to stay grounded.
Brand or not, some find it helpful to decide on one product and stick to it so they don’t have to discuss options every single time they go shopping. We use green (lime&mint) body wash. It helps us stay grounded in the bathroom. There are different brands, but we always buy green.
If there are any disagreements within the system, discuss them before you go.
Allow yourself to just take a break in case something unexpected comes up while you are in the store.
Sometimes the store is out of items you might need. Find a quiet corner and relax. Make small changes to your plan. It helps to bring pen and paper in addition to your shopping list.
If you have a favored store it helps to learn where things are and always take the same route through the store. If you have a mental picture of this you can sort things on your shopping list in groups, starting with the entrance area products, following your path. That way you can go through the list top to bottom and don’t waste time because you forgot something in a different section.
If someone inside wants something that is not on your list, go home, discuss and maybe return to the store later. Everyone has to learn to speak up when there is time for it. Trying to sneak in your wishes is unfair towards your others. If something was really essential you could have told them before.
If someone is trying really hard to get something outside the shopping list, go for the love&logic one-liners. Whatever they say, pick one of these answers:
„I know“, „I don’t know“, „Could be“, „Probably so“, „Nice try“.
That way you disappear as a partner in conflict. You are not a target anymore, you become like a cloud. Nothing can bother you. Don’t discuss at that point. Be compassionate and lenient towards them while you keep picking one of these answers and stick to your plan anyway.
If you are having a really hard time or you just want to learn how to do this, ask someone to go shopping with you. They can help you stay grounded and keep you on track with your shopping list.
If you are having a seriously bad day, see if you can find someone to do the shopping for you. With a good list a friend could do just as well as you with less struggles. It is ok to ask for help.
Don’t make that your „normal“. That would be avoidance. Avoid avoidance. It always costs you freedom.
Just remember that it is an option and be gentle on yourself.
We like to imagine that we don’t spend money, we invest it. Ask yourself if what you are paying for is a good investment. It helps you to think long-term instead of instant gratification.
Review your past purchases, see if there is something you regret or that you wouldn’t buy for that price again. Learn.
You don’t become a Shopping Queen in a day.
Save money, but always take good care of yourself. On the long run this will save you tons of money in medical bills, protect your ability to earn money and increase your quality of life.
More general tipps on saving money: Living on a Budget (Life Skills) and budgeting in general
On being more organized: Staying Organized despite dissociation
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