This exercise is typically used when our days are chaotic because some parts are not aware of the plans others have made and we accidentally work against each other. We miss appointments, do things twice or forget them altogether, we might be chronically late or irrationally worried about being late etc.
It is also a great exercise when we are just beginning to develop inner contact. There is no need for a lot of co-consciousness or cooperation. The regular attempts to communicate might slowly improve connection. If we are lucky, things will get done even when we have amnesia.
The plan
To do this, we take some time in the morning to go through our plan for the day. It is ok to have ordinary days without special challenges. We simply write down the key events that structure our day. That includes meal times, work, chores, appointments, evening plans and everything that could be important for us personally. I find it helpful to work with Time Blocking as a tool to visualize the structure of my plan. Whenever it is necessary, details can be added. If I eg want to make sure that nobody makes frozen pizza for lunch when I have cooked a perfectly fine korma, I would add that detail to the plan. You might want to add notes about places, people etc to paint a picture of what it should look like. This creates a map for the day.
In the next step, I go through the written notes and explain exactly what is going to happen in each step. It helps to speak out loud so that everyone who is interested can tune in and listen. If speaking into the direction of other parts is already too much, you can explain the plan to a spouse or a patient plushie. I heard they are extremely interested in plans.
Example
It is Monday the 7 th. We are going to have oatmeal for breakfast, like every morning.
Then I have work to do. You will know that I am at work because I will be sitting in front of the computer, reading and typing things. There will be a break, which we will use to make fresh tea and move our shoulders. Then there will be more work, but it will be shorter than the first block. We will eat the lunch I have prepared. It is in the fridge in the black bento box. Lunch time is the sign that we are done with work for today.
We will go for a walk through the park like we always do and everyone who likes can look at dogs and ducks. If the weather is terrible, we will jump on the trampoline instead and everyone who likes jumping around can join.
Then I will take care of some things in our home to make it nice. You will know when that happens because it will smell like cleaning products and you will hear the vacuum, it is very loud.
After that I will go grocery shopping with the list we made yesterday. Shopping is difficult but it does not hurt or harm us and I choose to do it so I can cook nice meals for us. I know meals are important for some of you and I want to honor that. Shopping is finished when all the things I bought are stored where they should be and the fridge is full again.
After that we have free time and we can choose what we want to do. We can watch another episode of the series we started last week and eat a sandwich. We will not go out tonight because it is Monday and not the weekend.
We need to take medication at 10pm and then we can go to bed. Are there any questions or concerns? Does anyone want to add anything?
Explaining the plan
When we communicate our plans for the day we create a greater sense of safety. Other parts won’t get startled by something unexpected. They can watch life and see that things happen according to plan (mostly), which over time will build trust. They also get a timeline they can follow to improve their sense of time and how it passes. Difficult situations won’t last forever and they already know what is planned afterwards so there is no need to worry that things will stay difficult.
Whenever we do something that others inside are not familiar with we might add information on how they can recognize that the planned event is happening and how they can identify that it is ok or when it is over.
To support parts who tend to feel powerless we take time to explain why each step (or block) is safe and why we are freely choosing to do it. Making ourselves aware that the things we do are ultimately our own choice is a great way to overcome a sense of helplessness and it never hurts to remind ourselves of that.
When we are done explaining the plan and the timeline we ask if anyone has any questions about the plan, if anyone has concerns they want to share or if anyone wants to add anything. It is normal not to get a lot of responses or very clear responses at first. We take the time to pay attention to any form of communication anyway. While speaking out loud is often the best way to get heard, writing is often the best way to get answers. So don’t put away your notes yet.
It often needs patience and time to get things started. Whenever we become aware of communication from inside, we try to respond, explain, adapt our plan ect. In the early stages it could be enough to promise that the adults will take care of things and nobody has to worry about having to manage it all. Showing up regularly and faithfully to inform the others (even when we get nothing back) will prove that we are trustworthy and genuinely trying to help. Every tiny bit that gets through, information or social effort, can make a difference.
Advanced
Once we have established communication and cooperation we can add a step to our notes and plan our Teaming. For Teaming, we create small groups of parts who work together to master a certain situation, task or block within our plan. Other parts get the job to withdraw to an inner space and avoid interference. After the project is finished the team can re-form with new members for the next project. It helps to plan who will work on a specific team, even if Teaming isn’t perfect and doesn’t always work out as we have planned it, yet. Switching on purpose is difficult.
Example
When we go to work, part A, B and C will focus on our tasks and managing technical issues. Parts D and E can go to their rooms and sleep or play and part F will keep them company and take care of them. Once we go for a walk, part F can take over and support parts D and E if they want to feed the ducks (no bread! there are peas in the freezer). Later, part C can do the cleaning while everyone else tries to rest a little and B and C can go shopping together…
It is possible to learn a hundred exercises for DID therapy and not all of them will be equally helpful or timely. I consider this a good exercise for the beginning and during troubling times when it needs a bit of extra safety. It is small and useful enough to do it every morning; until it feels unnecessary. We personally shifted to an evening meditation when we reached that point.
You can find instructions on how to prepare for more difficult situations over here.