The two hands is a small exercise meant to help with self-soothing and offer a felt sense of safety, protection or support. It is ideal when working with more or less dissociated parts in cPTSD or DID, but it could also work for people who don’t experience structural dissociation at all.
Sometimes parts inside might be stuck in a state of panic, abandonment, despair or hyperarousal and because they are not connected to the present or the outside world it seems impossible to reach them or help them to calm down.
Then we could invite them to connect with the body as best they can by sending their awareness into one of our hands. Some parts might feel like they can actually move through the body and ‘go into the hand’.
Next we take our other hand to hold the first one in a safe, protective or supportive gesture. Usually that means to cup it from underneath and hold its weight gently. Maybe you could think of it as one hand hugging the other.
Try out different ways to hold your hand to see what feels most comforting or stabilizing, depending on what is needed in that situation.
We get a chance to ‘hold’ a part in a caring way that is tangible for them.
This tiny gesture can have an incredible impact on a part in need of support and stop inner crisis situations in a moment. Because it offers a physical experience of safety and connection it doesn’t need words and even works with pre-verbal parts.
The two hands are explained in a few words and it is done in just a moment, but that doesn’t mean it is a small tool. When someone inside cannot be reached with words, it becomes one of our strongest.
More options for the hands technique
It works. We really needed to hear this right now. Thanks.