One of the most frequently asked questions we get is “When will flashbacks stop?“
So here is the answer, not intended to be exhaustive.
Short-term
For PTSD
Trigger
Flashbacks can only stop when we stop being triggered, which means that we need to remove ourselves from the trigger or the trigger from us. Otherwise, they are a constant signal to our brain that we are not safe and that this situation is TraumaTime. It helps to become more aware of triggers, maybe even keep a list of those you have identified, to make it easier to avoid them.
When we can’t remove a trigger we need to use basic discrimination for a realization that this thing today is different from the thing back then.
(Learn about anchors and 5 steps to stopp flashbacks)
Orientation&Grounding
Unless we get re-oriented we will stay stuck in re-experiencing. Our Ts make us look around, use our senses and perceive the room for a good reason. We need to take in cues of safety and of being in the Here and Now to stop the inner experience of being Then and There.
Grounding means the physical experience of being in a safe place. We need to connect with our body for a felt sense of safety that will counter the flashback. As long as we are not oriented and grounded the flashback experience can continue. DBT Skills are of limited help here.
(Orientation&Grounding tools and reality checks)
Dissociation
Being dissociated leaves us vulnerable for flashbacks. Some people allow themselves to drift into a trance state and then they complain that memories seem to swallow them. There is a reason why we are supposed to learn how to cope without dissociation.
Especially chronic dissociation will increase our risk of constant flashbacks and body flashbacks. To make constant flashbacks stop we need to learn how to stop dissociation.
(Learn how to get out of chronic dissociation and how to manage body flashbacks)
Containment
Finally, flashbacks will continue until we are able to contain them. This is done after we took care of grounding.
(Learn basic containment)
For structural dissociation
Other parts
A fronting part doing orientation&grounding will do little for us when it is another part inside who is having the flashback. It will continue until we connect and invite them to pay attention to the outside reality too. Only working within an inner world is not recommended. The more contact to reality our parts have the less they will get stuck in memories. The inner world is not always perceived as safe while the outside world usually is once we become aware of it. So to stop getting flooded by another part inside, help them with grounding. Don’t just try to lock them away or ignore them, that doesn’t work.
Getting heard
Sometimes parts throw memories at us for a reason. They want to be heard and they don’t want to be left alone with their memories. In that case it is best to allow them to express themselves and their need concerning this situation. They are not bad, they just can’t stay alone with this knowledge anymore. It is usually enough to listen and show empathy and then contain it together. Your T can help with this too. If you can’t listen to it now, negotiate some time when you can, with the help of your T. Grounding won’t work here. It will need inner communication.
(Learn The Two Hands to help parts feel that they are not alone)
Punishment
Some parts throw memories at us to control us and our actions. It is their way to signal that we have crossed a line, broke an old rule or that they believe that what we do or are planning to do is not safe for the system. These parts will need orientation in the outside world, locking them away is not helpful. They have to learn that today looks different and that they are parts of one team. Negotiate where necessary. Ignoring it will make it worse.
(How to integrate abuser-imitating parts)
Long-term
Processing
Memories will get triggered until they are processed and integrated. Grounding is only a shot-term solution. We can get really good at it and manage it in shorter periods of time, but the flashbacks will only literally stop when we do proper processing. It can take a while to gain the stability needed for that, so it is important to learn the short-term skills. It is also important not to avoid trauma work forever, if we have the basic stability.
(More about conditions for trauma work)
Programming
Systems with a background of mind-control will sometimes get flooded with memories when a program got triggered. Then you do your best to manage staying oriented and work with your T to de-program your system and find the parts who are responsible for this. It might take a while but it is very effective in stopping the flood of memories.
Flashbacks won’t stop all by themselves. We will have to do something about it. The most effective way to stop them is to find the source of the problem and take care of that.
Leave a Reply