It might come as a surprise, but people don’t work best when they are absolutely calm. Studies have shown that we work, and learn, the best with medium levels of stress/arousal. When there is not enough or too much stress/arousal, performance will suffer.
There is a certain “window of tolerance” where we are able to cope with challenges and there is a possibility for learning and growth. For trauma patients it can be hard to stay within this window, because stress levels shoot up quickly and chronically traumatized people are chronically stressed and therefore outside of their window of tolerance.
Outside of that window is the place where dissociation happens. To deal with dissociation we have to learn more about our personal window of tolerance and what it feels like.
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If we look at the actual physiology the order of stress responses would be:
seeking help, flight or fight, freeze and faint (and in extreme cases fragment).
We experience the stress as either hyperarousal (too much) or hypoarousal (not enough).
Both hypoarousal and hyperarousal are outside the window of tolerance and we want to avoid those. We would try to balance around the green and yellowish area. The dotted line shows what we are aiming for.
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Hyperarousal (about 10-8) is marked by
body: restlessness, tense muscles, shaking, sweating, excessive motoric activity, breathing quickly and shallow, higher heart rate
mind: being easily startled and on guard, hypervigilance, lack of concentration, disorganized thinking
emotion: feeling uneasy, edgy, sensitive, scared, angry, impulsive, stressed, overwhelmed
action: hide or explode in rage (aggression), self-harm (auto-aggression)
It is what we have called the flight or fight response.
Medium tension (7-5) is marked by: some tense muscles (face, neck and shoulders), sometimes holding the breath, feeling alert, high concentration, focus, quick thinking, being present, sensing emotions and body, reasonable reactions, able to communicate
neutral stress levels (4) means feeling calm, breathing deeply, feeling relaxed and at ease, not overly aware of the surroundings, sensing emotions and body
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Hypo arousal (3-1) is marked by
body: feeling cold/freezing, trembling, high pain tolerance, low body awareness, being unresponsive to stimulation, numbing, sleepiness, difficulties to move, slow motion, low muscle tension, paralysis
mind: slowed down thinking, blanking out, confusion, lack of motivation, feeling drowsy, dizzy, fuzzy, foggy, amnesia, complete shut down
emotions: detached, emotionally numb, lack of expression
action: faint, collapse
It goes with what we have called the freeze/faint response.
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People differ in how much stress they can take before they lose their ability to function well. It’s important for you to find the area where you function best. For some that might be between 4 and 6, others might be able to function at 3 to 7 or 4 to 8. You have to learn to recognize where you currently are to be able to self-regulate properly.
For some people the window will feel terribly small because arousal levels shoot up so quickly. That is ok. It is what it is. You can learn how to deal with greater stress levels, but as I have just mentioned, learning is only possible from within, not when you overwhelm yourself and step outside of the window. The first and most important goal is to learn how to self-regulate in a way that reduces the chance of dissociation. Then you can work on pushing the limits.
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If you have DID I hope you are ready for an extra round:
The goal is to connect with all parts and self-regulate in a way that ALL of you stay within the window of tolerance. I know… nobody said it would be easy. But its worth it. When you feel ok and one of the other parts is outside the window of tolerance, they won’t be able to learn something from the experience the way you do. It could make all your effort irrelevant. This is especially important, if you ever want to do any trauma work.
[Side Note: If you have a T they will probably push your limits a little, which is a good thing. But sometimes they are not aware when a challenge pushes you outside the window of tolerance. If that is the case, you need to tell them. Nothing can be learned from being overwhelmed. Take responsibility for yourself and communicate. Use the expression “window of tolerance” to help them understand, they probably have heard of it. If not: RUN!]
you might also be interested in:
Some Skills for Hyper/Hypoarousal (red/blue): the mind
Some Skills for Hyper/Hypoarousal (red/blue): the body
The Distant Observer (Mindfulness)
Skills for Yellow area (6/7): relational regulation
Skills for Yellow area (6/7): Distraction
Skills for Yellow area (6/7): Containment
I have found that dual awareness and grounding helps if I’m hyper. But how to I get out of hypo?
Also, hypervigilance is listed as a hyper effect, but I have a part that seems to be based on a mix of flee and freeze. He can be hypervigilant, sprouting eyes in 9 directions, but he’s totally calm. Wary. Always knows where the nearest wall is, the nearest bathroom, stairway, exit. Ready to flee, but maybe at defcon3. Pilots leaves are cancelled, they are sleeping in the ready room. But the engines are not spun up.